He Makes A Difference In My Children

Anonymous: Hello, SashaMonique, I have a big problem and I hope you can help me.  I have been married for five years and I have two little girls. 

 One is nine and the other is seven years old.  The seven-year-old is very fond of my husband and he seems to really care about her.  He thinks of her as his daughter.

 The other daughter, he doesn't care for, he said she is fresh and disrespectful.  My daughter does talk back and I spoke to her regarding her attitude.  He doesn't realize, that she is just a little girl and he needs to give her a chance. 

 My ex-husband doesn't spend any time with the girls and this has been very hard on them.  What can I do SashaMonique?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I hope I can help you.  You said that your husband really loves the seven-year-old and he probably thinks of her as a baby. 

 The nine-year-old is having a hard time sharing her family with her step-dad.  Maybe you can talk to him to reach out to get to know her more and do some father-daughter activities and tell your daughter, that she is being disrespectful and that is why the step-dad is avoiding her. 

 It would also be good if you can get in touch with your ex-husband so he can spend time with the girls.  You can also ask a reliable male, family member to act as a mentor or father figure to the girls. 

He Is Being Cheap. Should I Buy My Own Engagement Ring

Anonymous Question, Sasha, I have been dating this man for a year and he was talking about marriage on a regular basis.  He asked me whether I was ready for marriage or not and I said, Yes. 

 I love him but he took me to the jewelry stores looking for a ring and we saw many that I like.  He said, "I didn't know that they cost so much."  I said to myself "Listen to this cheapskate."  He started looking at some cheap, flimsy rings that had diamonds that look like salt.

I was upset, but, I understand that he is having some financial issues.   He dresses well and he gets things that he likes, so why is he being cheap about my ring. 

I am mad about this situation and I am ready to buy my own engagement ring because I refuse to wear an ugly, cheap ring. Don't get me wrong, I am not a gold digger but, I do like nice things.  Should I buy my own ring, Sasha?

Sashamoniquetalks,  You said that you love this man but, if he cannot afford to buy you a ring that you like, you will have to either get an affordable ring that you like or you will have to wait until this man can afford to buy you the ring of your dreams.  

I would not suggest that someone goes into debt for these kinds of purchases and I am not going to call you a gold digger.

 There are other options like Pawn shops, eBay, Mercari, Poshmark, and also Walmart.  You will be surprised about the quality rings that they sell at these places and also, down the line, you could get a more expensive ring.  

I will not suggest that you buy your own ring, but, you could tell him that you will put some money towards it.  If none of these options work for you, then maybe you should wait to get married. He may not even be in the position to marry anyone.

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out. 

I don't want to go to the Christmas party because I don't have a date.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha:  I have a Christmas party to attend but I don't feel comfortable going because I don't have a date.  All the women at my job are married or in a relationship.  I don't know what to do but cancel or not show up.

Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello:  I think that you should absolutely go to the party even though you don't have a date.  You may meet a nice gentleman  or I am sure that you will see other women by themselves.  You could even ask a male friend of yours to go or take your best girlfriend. Don't let not having a man stop you from enjoying life.  

My family doen't know how sick I am. Should I tell them?

Anonymous Question:  I have been battling Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Lupus for a little over a year.  My children have seen me sick and my husband doesn't pay attention enough to notice how sick I really am.

 I didn't tell them because I do not want them to be scared.  I am working full time but I don't know for how long.  I am having issues being intimate with my husband because of my health issues.  Should I tell them?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I don't answer questions that are health related but I had to answer this one because I am battling a lot of health issues myself and I feel that I can give you the best answer concerning this.

I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure many years ago and at the time my daughter was 9 years old.  I didn't want to tell my family but things got so bad and I had to tell someone about it. They were and still are very helpful to me.

Please tell your family exactly what is going on because it is no disgrace to be sick.  You need the support of your family and if you do not tell them, you will fall into a deep depression.

 Your family will help you and it will make it easier to cope with your illnesses.  Let your husband know and tell your doctor that you are having trouble being intimate with your husband.  There are things that can be done to restore your intimacy.

 You do not have to deal with this alone.  Join some online support groups with people who have the same health problems that you do and it will give you hope to go on with your life. 

If you do not feel like you can continue working full-time, please let your husband know so you two can make some decisions.  There are so many programs available for people with disabilities and you could also work at home online.

Signs My Boyfriend Doesn't love Me!

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We have all dated and experienced breakups and it is never easy.  Below,  you will see some of the signs.  There are always signs but we may not recognize them.

1. He never takes me out.
2. I have never met his family or friends.
3. He calls me his friend.
4. He never buys me anything.
5. He hits me.
6. He lies to me constantly.
7. He only sees me on certain days.
8. Tells me, I am ugly.
9. He dates other people.
10. Steals from me.
11. Get another woman pregnant.
12. Makes fun of me.
13. Uses me for sex.
14. Brings another woman to my house.
15. He's married.
16. Makes me buy him things.
17. Keeps breaking up with me.
18. Not willing to marry me.
19. Hates my children.
20. Tells me he hates me and my family.

If you have answered yes to any of these answers you may be involved with a man who doesn't love or respect you.  You cannot change him and what you see is what you get.  Do not be a slave to love because you will be the one who is hurt.  Men tend to respect women who respect themselves.  

My friends husband is cheating with her best friend

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha:  My friend and I have been friends since we were 3 years old.  We are now 26 years old and I consider her my sister. 

 Last week I went out with another one of my friends and saw my friend's husband hugged up with our friend.  They both saw me but they didn't say anything.  I was so shocked, what should I do?


Sashamoniquetalks:  I think that you should go to your friend's husband and tell him to stop seeing that woman or you are going to tell your friend.  If that doesn't work, you have to tell your friend because you said that you consider her your sister and you don't want her to be taken advantage of. 

 If you feel that your friend won't believe you then you will have to remove yourself from the situation and be there for her when she finds out about her husband's affair