Can You Escape The Hood By Doing Hood Things?

Can you escape the hood by doing hood things?

This morning I was thinking about all the people I know who tried to escape the hood by lying, stealing and hustling.

These folks thought they had all the answers and did not listen to anyone.  Years ago they were the best dressed, very popular, and drove the hottest cars.  It looked like they had the world in the palm of their hands.

 I have run into some of these people and I was very surprised that some of them are homeless.  They outwitted themselves and now they didn't have anyone to turn to.

Fast money is a fast death and you cannot escape your environment by doing foul things.  You may escape for a short time but you will not sleep well at night and you will have to constantly look over your shoulder.

You will not be able to trust your friends because when you are living this way, you really don't have any friends and you will lose self-respect.

Taking shortcuts will lead to problems further down the road.

What Exactly Is Talking White Or Acting White?

What Exactly Is Talking White Or Acting White?


Image Courtesy Pixabay.

There are a lot of misconceptions regarding African American people who talk proper English.  They are often called Oreo's, talking white, sell-outs and etc.

Some people grow up in different environments or they are exposed to people of different races.  I have some in my family who so-called "talk white" and they are not trying to sell out at all.

My family members are very proud African Americans and many are. You do not know what people go through who grow up in mostly white neighborhoods, you will definitely not forget who you are and where you come from, that is for sure.

We have a tendency to put our people in a box that they don't belong in just because of your uneasiness.  It is no disgrace to use proper English.

All of us are not the same, talk to a person so you can get to know them and you can build great friendships.  It is unfair to make judgments based on a manner of speech.

Judge people by their character only!

Top Five Ways To Date Yourself.

Top five ways to date yourself.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

When you are not in a relationship it is easy to sit around and mope.  A lot of times you will not take care of yourself and your appearance.  Not being in a relationship doesn't mean that you just give up on life.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

There are many ways to date yourself, to make you feel special and loved.  Sometimes people notice when you do not treat yourself well and they view you as unattractive. Make it a point to date yourself because you will draw more quality people into your life.

So here are the top five ways to date yourself!

1. Go to a fabulous restaurant and order whatever you want and sit there and savor every bite.
2. Take yourself on a trip alone and meet people and treat yourself to the best massages around and pamper yourself.
3. Take a relaxing bath and put on your favorite music, get out and put on the prettiest nightgown that you own and eat some quality chocolates and watch  ("Breakfast At Tiffany's.)
4. Order a beautiful necklace or ring and use it as your statement piece.
5. Go get your hair, nails, and feet done, and then go to a photoshoot and take your best picture.

Learn how to be happy with yourself and you will enjoy yourself with or without a mate.

Sir, Why Are You So Negative???

Sir, Why Are You So Negative??


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

Recently, I was at an event and it was a married couple where the husband said something very negative to his wife, and I thought I was going to fall out of my chair.

I will not repeat what he said, but it was a reference to her looks and her as a woman.  She didn't say anything back to him because obviously, it is something that he normally does.

Mind you, this man is not Prince Charming himself and he should never say that to his wife.  On the other hand, his wife is beautiful, she has large doe eyes and they are really striking.

I am quite sure his wife spoke to him at home about this. What I am going to say regarding this is don't do this to your wife or any other person, have some respect and some class.

Mrs, please keep yourself up because when you don't, men notice.  It still doesn't excuse his behavior, but don't let him see you slipping.

Fix yourself up, and if he doesn't improve, then maybe you should consider making permanent changes in your marriage.

Frenemies and their motives.

Frenemies and their motives.


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

Frenemies are people who pretend to be your friend when they really hate you.  They are extremely jealous of you and your accomplishments and will undermine you at every turn.

In the past, I have had friends like this and you try to be a real friend and even keep the peace, but it gets tiring after a while.  They never were happy for me, and some talked about me behind my back and attempted to use me.

I was always in their corner and tried to be the best friend that I could, but I got the total opposite in return.  It is easy to spot a frenemy because they will force their way into your life, and they are very kind at first until they get closer to you and gain your trust.

Some of these frenemies will get close to you so they can get closer to the man in your life in an attempt to ruin your romantic relationship.

These people will try to put you down while smiling in your face or acting as if they got your back. The best way to deal with a frenemy is to know the signs and stay away from them.  It is very easy to spot them.

You ask them how your outfit looks and they will just shrug and say nothing or say " that outfit would look better on me".  Some will even mimic you by trying to wear the same clothes or hairstyles you do.

Some of them will try to undermine you at your place of work to get your position if your position is higher than theirs.  Stealing your close friends and talking about you is their modus operandi.

If you get married before they dom they will act like they are happy but you can see the disappointment in their eyes.

Frenemies can be any age and they are dangerous! They are so consumed by your life when they should be living their own.

I Faced Racial Discrimination On My Job!

I Faced Racial Discrimination On My Job!


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

First off, I am not a person who will blame everything on racial discrimination. Today, I was thinking about a time I was discriminated against by my employer.

Many years ago I used to work as an Administrative Assistant for an agency that helps poor, minority, and disenfranchised people.  A lot of these people were in fact homeless.

My boss seemed like she was friendly and I thought she had a heart of gold.  Her agency was very well known in the community, and she really did help clients get housing, jobs, and food.

I was given my assignments to do for the day, and I flipped the papers over, and it had racist words on the back that pertained to black people.  At first, I thought that someone else in the office had done this.

Each and every time I saw these words on the back of my work assignments it really sickened me.  I never said anything because I needed my job.

My boss constantly smiled at me and was kind, but I knew she had a problem with black people as a race.

I didn't stay in this job very long because I could not deal with all the discrimination I was facing.

Another employee told me that they were going through the same thing, and it is sad.

Make sure you research online the steps that it takes to lodge a discrimination lawsuit if this has happened to you.  Racial discrimination has no place in the workforce!

(Men) Top Don'ts In A Relationship.

(Men) Top Don'ts In A Relationship.


Image Courtesy Pixabay

Hello Gentlemen, these are tips for men to stop doing these things in their relationships.

1. If your girlfriend doesn't feel well, don't come over because she doesn't want any company.
2. If your girl is cooking expensive dishes, such as; shrimp, lobster, and oxtails.  "I Love Oxtails" do not show up with any of your friends unless she specifically invites them.
3. Do not absolutely, do not come to her house with extra clothes (trying to move in on the sly) because she didn't ask you to move in.
4. Do not kiss her if your breath smells bad.
5. Do not show up at her house late if she told you to come by 7pm, do not come at 11pm.
6. Do not come to her house with five of your kids if she didn't ask you to.
7. Don't keep the toilet seat up because she hates that.
8. Do not text someone while you are at her house. (this is disrespectful.)
9. Please do not avoid calling her for three weeks and then just show up at her house unannounced.
10. Do not have her thinking you are going to marry her if you do not intend to.

These rules are very easy to follow and she will love you for being considerate.  Please leave comments if you would like to leave even more tips.

She Forgot She Was A Child (Very Short Story)

She forgot she was a child.

Image Courtesy Pixabay.

 This is one of my short stories and I hope you enjoy it. I like to post them from time to time.

Lena was barely eleven-years-old and she carried the world on her shoulders.  Many times she was scared to smile and people thought she had such a hard exterior.

Lena was wise beyond her years, but she yearned to be free to live like a child because she forgot that she was a child.  Lena was a great student despite what she was going through and she excelled in everything she put her mind to.

She wasn't as hard as people thought she was because, every night, her pillow held her tears and her secrets, in fact, she was very afraid of her future. So she prayed, and prayed, that God would intervene.

God did intervene but it took such a long time. She never gave up her faith and I believe it carried her a long way.  Lena is a nurturer and it is what she is made of. She cares so much and always wants to help out.

Years passed and Lena became a woman, all the pain and inner scars taught her to be strong and it also taught her about forgiveness.  She is now happy and she has the gift to counsel others who have been through what she went through.

This young lady also learned that you are in charge of your own happiness and she refused to wallow in self-pity, Yes, her life was not ideal but with God's help she changed it into what she wanted it to be.

The moral of this short story is to never give up and excel in spite of your difficulties and lean on your faith and it will get you through.

Young Lady Has Been Having Babies Since She Was Thirteen, Now On Her Tenth Child

Young Lady Has Been Having Babies Since She Was Thirteen, Now On Her Tenth.
 
Image Courtesy Pixabay.

I saw a young lady today, and she started having babies when she was Thirteen years old.  She is under thirty-five years old, and she has ten children.

She is a nice-looking young lady, and I cannot understand how this syndrome started because that is what it is.  What happened to her to make her think that she needs ten kids?

What tragedy started this, and why is she continuing to think this way and make it harder for her to work in a career she loves? Maybe she just loves children but I don't think that it is normal for a woman to do this at such a young age.

I believe her oldest child is an adult already and I hope that she has a different mindset than her mom.  I love children, and I think they are a blessing from God, but it isn't a lot you can offer your kids when you have too many children.

I wonder did her mom try to intervene and she still did not listen.  I saw one of the fathers of her children many years ago, and frankly, he was very childish and doesn't appear like he is serious about life.

Please don't waste your time having babies with these men who get you pregnant and are not willing to help you financially and otherwise.

Even if a man would be willing to love and provide for you, there is only so much he can do with ten kids in the family.

Having a lot of babies at a young age isn't cute, and honestly, I don't know her religious beliefs but she is not being a good mother by having so many children.

She cannot work because she has so many children, and no one will care for the kids she can work with.  Heck, it doesn't even pay for her to work because she will never make enough money to provide for these children.

I would love to see some programs put into place for young teen moms to prevent another out-of-wedlock birth, and to tell these young ladies, what will happen if they have too many children.

Her family failed her, the system failed her, and she failed herself. I wish the best for the young lady and hope by some miracle, she will find the love and self-esteem that could have prevented this.

Talk to, love and support your young daughters and surround them with positive images so they won't only see themselves as a mom at a very young age.

(Video) How To Stop Being A Doormat

Stop Being A Doormat.

Sometimes it is easier said than done but some of us have lived the lifestyle of being agreeable and taking the backseat when we should have been more present and expressed what we are really feeling.  There are people who are a doormat and don't even know that they are because this is what they have seen in their life.

This video below is very pertinent and an eye-opener and it gives insight on how to change this behavior.

Life Is Not All Flowers ( daily life problems)

Life Is Not All Flowers (daily life problems)

Life is beautiful but sometimes things can come to knock you off your feet and cause confusion and a lot of us women know that most problems fall into our plate, so to speak.

We carry such loads and burdens and people don't realize that it can be overwhelming at times.  We have to be everything to everybody and it is hard to fathom that this can take its toll on our health, mentally and physically.

The fact is, we are the ones who need the pep talk, the pat on the back, and just a listening ear. The most common daily problems can be avoided when you just put your pride down and ask for help or put some of your tasks off for another day if possible.

Don't be scared to say no to some family members who overwhelm you with their issues, you have to step back sometimes.

Turning off your phone and not taking any calls unless it is an extreme emergency is sometimes necessary to take a break and take the time to do some of the things that you love.

I love to plan shopping trips alone so I can think and just enjoy my own company.  This gives me the time to relax and even have lunch alone and I truly enjoy it.

Learn to be assertive and let people know where you are coming from to keep from making excuses and don't let people make you free bad for not helping them.

Please don't let anyone stress you out because stress can cause disease and life is too short.  Find your happy place and live your best life.

(Video) Don't Give Men Money.

Don't Give Men Money.

Ladies, there are so many men trying to get over on women and use them as their personal Bank.  So many women start this practice and in the end, they end up with bad credit and all sorts of problems.  Make this man be a man and get off his behind and contribute to you and your household and if he isn't willing to take his rightful place in your life, then you should let him go.

This same man will meet someone else and be willing to give her the world, you are worth more ladies.  It is easier than you think that it is, just say no! When you tell him no and really mean it, he will show you where he is coming from.  Either he will leave you or he will man up.

Below is a video of this knowledgeable woman giving you advice that you can really take to heart and stop being used.

Do Your Social Media Followers Have To Know Everything About You?

Do Your Social Media Followers Have To Know Everything About You?


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

When you are on Social Media we tend to get more relaxed talking about ourselves and it is easy to forget about safety and things that we should not reveal on the Internet.

There are some YouTubers who have put their trust in their followers and have revealed private information about themselves in casual conversations but some of their viewers have chosen to use this info to troll them and cause chaos in their lives.

People will support you but they have itching ears and want to learn any or everything about your life and it is none of their business.

Be very careful what you reveal to the public because these are strangers who do not know you and you don't know exactly who is watching, it could be anyone and there are also people who will hate you for no reason at all.

Please do not let anyone know where you are going in your videos because a stranger could show up who doesn't like you for one reason or another and it could be a dangerous situation.

You can always go to your event and upload your video weeks later.  Be very careful who you talk to about your private business because it can come back to bite you later on.

Think very carefully before you share your spouse online because so many people like to interfere in relationships and it will be a recipe for disaster because jealous or envious people will make it their business to break up your happy home.

Never discuss personal aspects of your relationship with anyone and keep your marriage woes to yourself unless your marriage is over.

Keep your children safe online and never reveal their exact whereabouts or their school info, it is nobody's business!

Stay clear of social media cliques because there are many and they are a breeding ground for gossip and confusion.  You think they are your friends but they are not.

Being personable is very interesting and people get to know a lot about you but is it really worth the problems that it can bring?

Think about it before you reveal it? 

He Went To Jail And You Waited For Him And Now He Is Out And Cheating On You.

Ladies, I just heard about a story and the man went to jail for some years and his girlfriend waited for him the whole time he was gone.  She was his queen, so she thought, but as soon as he got out, he cheated on her.

This man took this woman's soft heart for granted because he needed her while he was in jail.  She didn't get much out of this relationship and he takes her for granted.

This lady is a sweetheart but obviously, she was looking for love in the wrong places.  Why is his life more important than hers?

This is a lesson to us all, we all have been weak and fallen short somewhere, but I want ladies to know that you have to place yourself higher than this man you are dating or in a serious relationship with.

You should love your man but he should be loving you too and be willing to sacrifice for your well-being and happiness.

Stop selling yourself short, a lot of you are doing everything and the man isn't doing anything.  The relationship should be on an equal footing.

You are afraid that if you stop doing these things, he will leave you, but if a man doesn't love you, he will leave you anyway.

If you are a doormat, he will get sick of this and the woman who will put her foot down and make him be a man, he will be absolutely crazy about this woman and do and be everything that she needs him to be.

Love Yourself First!

Why Is It Okay For Him To Cheat While In Our Marriage But I Cannot?

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

Why is it okay for him to cheat while in our marriage but I cannot?

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sashamonique, I have been married for twenty-two years and my husband has been stepping out on me with other women since day one. I told him the other day that I was seeing someone but I want to try to save our marriage, he looked at me and slapped me in the face very hard.

I asked why he was so mad because he has a harem of women he dates and he said “I can do whatever the hell I want to do” he feels like he is a king and every woman should bow down and do everything that he wants them to do. I am tired of this man. The new man isn't any prize either but I feel happy when I am with him. Honestly, he is a womanizer also. Should I make my husband leave so I can be with my new man?

Sashamoniquetalks: That is a long time to be married and going through this sort of thing. Your husband has been taking you for granted and I don't even know why you are still dealing with this. I understand that marriage is not perfect but do we have to suffer in it, no! He wants to do what he wants to do and you should be accepting of his behavior, I think not.

Tell your husband that if he wants this marriage to work he better clean up his act or you are out the door. I am saying you are out the door because it doesn't sound like your husband will be the one leaving.

About this new man, you need to find out why you keep picking men who are not willing to just date you because this is a never-ending pattern of your life. The new man is fun right now because he doesn't have any responsibilities regarding you. Find your happiness elsewhere than with this new man who isn't faithful as well. You deserve better.

Listening is fundamental to your success.

Listening is fundamental to your success.

We live in a society where everyone is running around living by their own rules. They never consider other people's opinions and in the long run, they will start to run into major problems. You say that if only they would have listened their result would have been more positive.

 When you only listen to your voice or people who lack the skills to carry on an intelligent conversation or mindset, you will find that you will constantly run into a brick wall.

No one has all the answers, not even me, but there is always someone who has lived a story similar to your own and can tell you how they got through their situations.

 You do not have to agree with everything that is said but keep your heart and mind open so that you can grow and attract positive, responsible, experiences.

A closed-minded person can never grow because they feel that they have all the answers and when they fall, they will often come back to the person who was trying to help them in the beginning.

 Being prideful will not get you anywhere in this life because you will find that rules are meant to be followed, to constantly break them is truly insane.

Do not be your own worst enemy. Listening is fundamental.

Whatever Happened To Lorenzo??

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay 

  Whatever happened to Lorenzo??

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a true account but I have changed the names to protect the innocent. Lorenzo was a young man with dreams and aspirations, he liked nice clothes and he had a beautiful smile.

 He was a nice young man but we noticed that Lorenzo took the easy way out when it came to making his money. Lorenzo lived on the rough side of town but everybody just knew that he would make it out of the hood unscathed. He had charisma and a soft side and he attracted very beautiful and classy women.

We didn't know exactly what Lorenzo did to make his living but we knew that with the little minimum wage job that he had, he couldn't afford a lot of things that he was purchasing. His mom was a very sweet woman and he loved her and would do anything for her.

 She never questioned how he made his money. Lorenzo's dad was not around so he couldn't depend on anyone else for financial support. He took matters into his own hands and decided that he would be the man that his family needed.

So long story short, many years passed and I often wondered what happened to Lorenzo. I started doing searches online and I came across a picture of this weary man wearing rags and he was very unkempt.

Life caught up to Lorenzo and his money-making activities finally resulted in homelessness and jail time. The moral of this short story is, fast money leads to death and destruction and there is no way out of your situation than doing the right thing.

 Education plays a big part in your future and your future employment and staying on the right track is very important.

Was Lorenzo a bad person? no, he wasn't but life took its toll and he saw no way out of his situation. Life moves very fast and I wish that someone could have intervened before his life turned into the mess that it is.

 There is hope and a chance for redemption and this is just an account of how we are a product of our environment. I am hoping and praying that the next news I hear about Lorenzo will be good and he has changed his life.

If you like short stories such as this one, please comment below.

I Went To Jamaica For Two Years And Just Found Out I Am Divorced

I Went To Jamaica For Two Years And Just Found Out I Am Divorced.


Image Courtesy Pixabay

Anonymous Question: Hello, SashaMonique, I went to Jamaica and stayed for two years because I love acting and singing but the market is not good in the state where I live. Many days I dreamed about living in Jamaica, it was something that I was adamant about.

The problem is, I have a husband of seven years and he is really kind and sweet but I told him that I wanted to move to Jamaica and he said that he couldn't go because he had a lot going on in his career right now and he knew that it would harder to establish himself in a career in Jamaica.

My husband told me to go and he would support me in anything that I wanted to do.  Secretly, I was hoping he would change his mind and come with me.  Never have I had a problem with my husband and we were truly in love with each other.

So, two years passed and I decided to come home and when I opened the door, I saw all sorts of letters on the floor and my husband was not there. I went next door to talk to my neighbor and he said that my husband had moved out eight months ago.

My neighbor also told me that my husband was married to someone else, I said that it couldn't be true and he assured me that it was. I did not believe that my marriage was over so I did some more checking and my neighbor was right, my husband divorced me and he did it illegally.

Now, I am in a very dark place in my life, because things did not pan out in Jamaica and I don't have a job or anything.  I am sorry for the long question but I hope that you can help me.

Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello, I am so sorry that this happened to you but I wonder whether or not your husband had a relationship going on before you left because it sounds like this could be a possibility.  Now, I am going to say this, why would you go to another country without your husband?  You took a big chance.

There is a possibility that your husband really loved you but could not deal with you being gone.  Please go and seek some legal advice to see if you can get some financial compensation such as; Alimony because he definitely did this behind your back.

Speak to some of his family members to find out all the details of why your husband married his current wife.  I cannot answer any further because this is a legal matter.

Elderly And Middle- Aged Women Be Honest With Yourself (Catfish)

Elderly And Middle-Aged Women Be Honest With Yourself (Catfish)


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

Disclaimer, you are not going to like what I am going to say, so if this offends you, I am sorry.

I am watching Dr. Phil right now screaming at the television. So so tired of seeing elderly women meeting guys on the internet and getting catfished.

  You can not blame anybody but yourself.  You have to be honest with yourself, the truth is, men are not really interested in middle-aged and elderly women, not in no real relationship.

Eventually, you find out that this man is a fraud or never existed, you send all your money to a man because you believe that this man is in love with you; you have never seen this man for crying out loud!

I am not saying that an older woman cannot find someone to date in her real-life but if you are looking to get married, you are sadly mistaken. This lady that I am watching today lost a lot of money and you cannot get it in these lady's heads that this man is not going to be with them.

What is wrong going to events where available elderly men are also looking to form friendships with available older women?  Nothing wrong with it at all!  When I go to my local mall I see elderly people meeting and they bring a single friend to meet elderly gentlemen.

This is a nice way to socialize with other people. I see really beautiful looking older women every single day but a man don't care if you are a nice looking older woman, they don't want old women point, blank, period.

I am middle-aged myself and I refuse to be an old fool.  Please watch these catfish shows so you can learn the signs ladies.  Protect yourself and listen to your family because they are just trying to protect you because they love you.

(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife. What A Snake!

(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen, this article is a blind item so here it goes.  The husband was a tall, good looking light brown-skinned man and he was very hardworking, The wife was a plus-sized woman and she always wore her hair in fabulous braids,

 I had never seen anyone's hair braided in such a beautiful manner.  She loved to hang out in clubs while her wonderful husband was at work. This woman was very flirtatious and she attracted a lot of men at the clubs she attended.

Her husband's cousin was a tall, dark and handsome man with brown eyes, he was very soft-spoken but a snake.

He was a snake because, the same club that his cousin's wife went to, he attended also, and they would dance together, they also danced together in the bedroom but the husband nor the cousin's wife did not know what was going on.

 The cousin came home with lipstick on his shirt but he said that he was dancing with the cousin's wife and accidentally her lipstick got on his shirt (Clues!)  The cousin's wife was in denial and was trying hard to work on her marriage.

As time passed, the cousin's wife found out what was going on and she was long gone but the secret was kept for a long time from the husband, but now the covers come off and the cousin is now revealed as the snake that he always been.

I bet this isn't the first time that this man slept with his family's wives and it won't be the last.  Never trust anyone!  (Covers comes off)

My Daughter Is Out Of Control.

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

My daughter is out of control!

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sasha, my daughter is fifteen and she is starting to get into trouble and act very wild. I am at my wit's end with this child. She is too big to spank and she knows it and she is sneaking out the house when I go to bed.

 She is not doing anything in school and she was kicked out of regular high school so I got her into an alternative school so she can still get her high school Diploma. She was caught stealing two years ago and she has bought a lot of shame to me. I don't know what to do, Sasha.

Sashamoniquetalks: You said that your daughter is starting to get into trouble, yet you said that she was caught stealing two years ago. It sounds like the problem started two years ago and talk to your daughter very casually to see what occurred.

 You didn't say whether or not her dad is around but it sounds like he isn't because he would be backing you up in this situation. Speak to the Guidance Counselor at her school to see if anything serious is going on at school and also take your daughter for counseling.

 When she sneaks out of the house, call the police so that it can be a record of your daughter doing this so you can protect yourself. Talk to your child's friends parents to see what is really going on. Please let me know what happens regarding this.

Are You Living In Confusion?? (Lessons Learned)

Have you been in that place in your life where you have just sat down and reminisced about your past and the events that took place that may have contributed to you having your moment of enlightenment that made you get up and make changes that have made you into the person that you are today?

 I had that moment today and step by step I felt joy and the power that we as women hold if we just listen to our intuition and our heart.

Life is full of lessons that must be learned and I often think about what could have happened in my life if I didn't take the necessary steps and the faith to push me to make changes.

 With every change in my life, there were rivers of tears, but as the tears fell I still made the change that led to freedom.  Freedom to change my course of destiny.  Freedom to not be held back and held up with someone else insecurity and freedom to love me.

To anyone going through difficult changes right now, the change is in your heart, it is in your mouth to speak greatness, it is in your steps to move you.  Don't be afraid because God will hold your hand while you are making your move, he is telling you and showing you that he got you and just want your trust and faith.

 Below is a video of a song that I love and have been very helpful to me throughout my life and I hope that it will be helpful to you.  The message is clear and the song is beautiful.

Where Do I Fit In The Dating World As An Older Woman?

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Anonymous Question: SashaMonique I am 45 years old and although I take good care of myself, I watch my weight and I dress very fashionable.  I have been told that I look very young for my age and I am not tooting my own horn, but I am very attractive.

 I want to know, where do I fit, in the dating world as an older woman?  I have been single for about 2 years and would like to be in a long-term relationship.  Have gone on a few dates and I am not attracting the type of man I would like in my life.  I have 2 kids and they both are grown and I just want to be in love once again.  

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am glad that you contacted me because I truly understand your situation because I am an older woman and I have to say that dating is very difficult at this age because a lot of men want to date a young woman.  

There are some men who would love a more mature woman and you would have to go to some events where good, quality men are.  Finding love is never impossible and you didn't say what your hobbies are but find an event where it has men who have the same interest that you have, this could be outings to the movie theater and there are some websites geared to group outings that would make meeting men safer.

  Some years ago I went to an event on a ship and I found it very easy to strike up a conversation and meet single men and there wasn't a lot of pressure on either party. If you are meeting men that you are not attracted to, do not give them your number.

 See if any of your family members have friends that you can be introduced to.  Find out about outings your local church may be going on and go and enjoy yourself.  It is not too late, all you have to do is weed out the undesirables.

He is starting a business with my female friend.

Anonymous Question:  Sasha, I am married to a man who I have known since Grammar school and we have always been close.  He told me the other day since my female friend has a lot of experience in business, he wants to open a business with her. I told him that I want to be a part of the business also and he told me that I don't know anything.

 My husband doesn't usually talk to me like this and I feel like something is going on between the two.  I talk to my friend and she said that she didn't ask to be a part of the business but he figured, she knew all the ins and outs of running a business. I would rather for him to conduct business with a man who is knowledgeable in business instead.  Do you think I am acting silly Sasha?


SashaMoniqueTalks:  There is a possibility that he is really trying to find the right person for the job but he should consider your feelings.  Talk to him again regarding this matter and tell him that you don't feel comfortable with the arrangement. 

 Talk to your friend and tell her that you don't want her to be a part of the arrangement and see what she say's.  Your husband should find a happy medium with someone else who have the same amount of experience because it is not a good idea to start a business with friends because you may have some problems later. 

if I were your friend I would not enter into this arrangement. And no, I don't think you are acting silly.  Please keep in contact with me and let me know what is going on and I will try to assist you further.

Check Out A Man Before You Date Him.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Ladies, last night I was looking at a website regarding sex offenders, and would you believe, I saw many people that I have seen while shopping and people I  have gone to school with.  There were even men in their 80's on this website.  The website is: http://www.sexoffendersarchive.com/

and you can search using your zip code.  

We have to be very careful when dating and when even having family members around your children.  Most of the men on this site were boyfriends who offended their girlfriend's kids and also men who were left babysitting kids.  You cannot be too careful and I urge you ladies to take your time and check and see if the man you are thinking of dating, is on this website.

Some of us are letting men live with us and having them around our children too fast.  If you care anything about your children, you will stop this practice. Make sure this man is safe to be around children and also whether he has violent tendencies because many women have lost their kids to murder also.

Never sacrifice your children to be with a predator!

The Traits Of A Stalker.

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay


Stalkers are among us, you guys, they don't always look like the creepy man or woman who is very unattractive and strange acting, in fact, some of them look like the boy or girl next door and they can be very normal and quite attractive.  However, most of them exhibit the same traits and it is very important to learn what these traits are.

 They are very clingy and they want to track your every move.  They spy on you when you least expect it, and they will make your life a living hell.  Below are some videos regarding this subject so you can familiarize yourself with all the things to look for in an unstable lover.

Do not take stalking lightly.  If you are being stalked, please contact the local police authorities as soon as possible and file a police report.

Is Social Media The Devil?

Image courtesy Pixabay

When we think of the Devil we think of the sneaky ugly figure like the one who is in the above picture but we never take into consideration that he is sneaking into some of our social media activities.  Heavily involvement in social media can cause you to feel a certain way about somebody and it can bring out the worst in all participants.  

Sometimes it is good to pull away from your social media accounts and have real conversations with the people in your life.  Social Media can be used for good but I see the Devil rearing his ugly head on almost a daily basis.  There are people lying, causing trouble, or showing off and you know the real story about their life but they want their situation to appear more fabulous than it is.

There is so much cheating and gossiping going on and if you are not involved in these types of things, sooner or later you will be.  I love social media but I will be pulling back some because it is really addictive.

Turning off social media will give you peace of mind and it will cause you to be more productive.  If you had to un-hook from social media please leave your comments down below.

How To Lose Money And Go Broke.

There are many ways to lose money and go broke but if we listen to other people's stories we can learn from them and prevent the same things from happening to us.  We have to train ourselves to think differently about money.

He Lost His Way And Now He Wants You To Bail Him Out!

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

Hello, everyone.  This is not a question and answers session but something that has happened in my personal life at one time or another.

He Lost His Way And Now He Wants You To Bail Him Out!

I was involved with this man many, many, years ago.  He was very self-centered and was only looking for a way to advance his dreams by using women.  He was very attractive and he knew it. 

 He played the game of pretending to be in love with me to accomplish everything that he wanted.  His caresses and his tender kisses were something out of this world.

After a while, I caught on to his schemes and I was finished with him.  For some reason he felt that after all, I had been through, he had a right to try to re-enter my life.

  He didn't realize that this lady had in fact moved on and no longer had feelings to give him a chance.  He didn't have sense enough to have enough pride to not approach me again.

The moral of this story is, never let anyone take you for granted.  If you hurt me once, you will hurt me again.  I don't owe you even a conversation with your sob story of how your life didn't turn out the way you expected.

  Hold your head up high and quickly say no to his advances and keep it moving because you know that he hasn't changed and if he did, let him be a better person for somebody else.  

Sometimes it isn't worth it to give second chances.  Guarding your heart is one of the best gifts that God will give you if you will just listen to him and follow his leading you will have a better result.

Intuition is there for a reason and if you had listened before, you would not be carrying this scar to your heart and your soul. 

 So, his life is in shambles, it is not your fault or your problem.

Let him straighten his own mess and he will be a better person for it.

Should I Let My Daughter Go To The Movies With Her Friends?

                                                        SashaMoniqueTalks

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha, My daughter wants to go out with friends to the movies and then out to eat.  I trust her friends but their older brother who is 27, like my fifteen-year-old daughter, and she told me she didn't feel comfortable with him in the past.  He makes little comments about her looks and her body shape, he would be the one driving them around.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would not let my daughter go out with friends to the movies when you already know that their brother likes your daughter because his infatuation with your daughter is not appropriate at all.  See if her friend's parents will let you be the chaperone and if not, let your daughter go out with her friends where you have personally met their parents and other family members.  You cannot afford to be too lax when it comes to your children.

Why Are You Willing To Be His Side Chick?

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

I hear women all the time bragging about taking someone's husband or being in a relationship with a man who has numerous women.  I really had to think and see what they are getting out of this kind of relationship.

 Some women have even said that they don't want to be with the man all the time so they choose this kind of relationship because it is flexible; when they don't want to be bothered they know he will go to his wife or the other side chick.

  There are a lot of women going with older men to get them to finance their lifestyle and they really are not attracted to this person but they are in it to get what they get.

What You Don't Realize

This man is using you for sex and sometimes for your money, he just wants you around to stroke his ego and when he is tired of dealing with you, he will go to his other woman or his wife, you are just a temporary fix for his sexual appetite.

He complains about his wife, but he is not making a move to leave her because it is obvious, that he really loves her but he is no good and he really doesn't want to ruin their relationship.

He has kids with numerous women and you don't require much because you know as his side chick you are not going to receive much from him because he is paying a lot of child support or he is ducking the mothers to avoid paying child support.

This jerk is using you as a shoulder to cry on when things are not good at home and you let him come and stay with you a few days and then he is back home with the so-called miserable wife that he is so unhappy with.

A lot of times he doesn't want to be seen out with you because he is dating so many women.

This guy is in and out of jail and he needs you to be his support system when he gets out of jail.  He doesn't care anything about you, you are just a safety net.


You Are Worth More Than This Ladies!

When you are dating a new man, try to see where he is living and who he is living with and ask questions because sometimes a man will tell you directly where he is coming from but there are others that will lie constantly.

 If you catch this man in a bunch of lies when you are first dating, the lies will only get worse and you will find yourself in a relationship that is difficult and it will not lead to anything worthwhile.

You are wearing a dark mask (Rant)

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

                                                        

You think you know me, you judged me with a heavy hand before you got to really know who I am.  Your over-zealous condemnation was assigned to me.  Everybody thinks that you are the Messiah but instead, you are a worker of iniquity. A charlatan and a fraud.

  God knows all the lives that you have destroyed with your judgemental nature.   Your whole problem is, that you are controlling and you will not admit it to yourself or others.    You have ruled people with fear and have whipped them in every way possible with your forked tongue.

  On the worst day of my life, you decided that you were going to play God and lash me with false words.  How dare you play with the position that you say, God trusted you with.  How dare you!

You have used extreme fear and punishment to keep people under your wing.  Yes, they secretly hate you but they thought that you had their best interest at heart.

  You have to remember that God sits high and looks low and he hasn't forgotten the evil that you have done to tear his earthly kingdom down. You have taken advantage of the poor to get to the lifestyle that you have and I am sure that God isn't pleased.

  Everybody will see your demise if you do not change your wicked ways.  So, dark one, I will pray for your soul but please oh please, don't pray for me.

Are You Dating A Cheapskate?

                                                  Picture Courtesy Of Pixabay


Are You Dating A Cheapskate???

Well, Ladies, I have and let me tell you, it was no fun at all.  He tried to fool me Ladies, yes he did because he talked a good game and he spent some money on me but when it came to things that was important to me like Birthdays and Holidays I wasn't pleased at all with his choice of gifts.

  Lord, he even came on my Birthday one year and forgot my card and went to the drug store and bought the card and came to my house and signed that bad boy right in front of me.   My thing is this, if you cannot afford to be in a relationship, don't be in one because a relationship is give and take.

You can always tell when a man isn't truly interested in you by his actions.  I am not a gold digger by any means and I understand that sometimes people just don't have it, but, don't expect my best if you are not giving me yours.

  That is the bottom line!  It doesn't take much to make some of us women happy, just don't act like we don't matter.

There are signs ladies that this man is a cheapskate and here they are:

1. Don't want to take you out because it cost to much.
2. Buys you super cheap things.
3. Takes you out but want you to pay half of the cost.
4. re gift things given to him.
5. Makes tons of excuses for not giving you anything.
6. Calls you days after your Birthday.
7. Don't want to take you out to nice restaurants.
8. Wants to watch movies at home because he is too cheap to buy you a Movie Theater ticket.
9. Doesn't put much gas in his car so he can ask you for money.
10. Will not take you out unless he has a coupon.

Ladies, I will never date a cheapskate again because it is too much aggravation and to much work.  I rather hit myself in the head with a hammer than dealing with this type of person. When you see one coming, run for your life, while you still have your self respect.

  If a man really wants to be with you he will try his best to please you.  If he is having some real financial issues, he should discuss this with you because these things happen in life but when you see the signs, keep it moving.

If You Need Some Advice, Please Submit Your Question.

Hello, everyone, if you have any questions that you would like for me to answer, please send them to my email and I will be happy to answer, just keep in mind, if the question is of a serious nature I would not be able to respond and I also don't answer questions from children, you must be eighteen or older. Remember, I can conceal your identity so you do not have to worry about anyone knowing who you are.

She Waited 20 Years And He Still Didn't Marry Her.

Picture Courtesy Of Pixabay


She was young and beautiful, he was the debonair older man and they met at a social event.  They made eye contact and he was hooked and she was too.  

Their relationship started very fast, she was only twenty years old and he was thirty-nine years old and he saw her as the spicy young thing that he had prayed for. 

 Secretly she had always had a thing for older men but she was ashamed to let her friends know. In her mind, she could hear all the laughter that they would make if they only knew.

I am going to call her Diane.  Diane started staying away from her friends and they didn't know why, why because she knew that they would tell her family what she was doing. 

 This man wined and dined her and there was nothing financially off-limits to her.  She saw this as the perfect set-up but what she was soon to find out, her debonair boyfriend had a family, a wife, and four kids.

  Diane found this secret out while looking through her boyfriend's pants pocket and she saw a picture with his cute but older wife and three older kids the last child was only seven years old.

Young, sexy Diane tried to convince herself that she could live with this situation after she confronted her boyfriend and as many years passed she remained complacent in a relationship that was a sinking ship.  

It took five years for the wife to find out what was going on but she decided that she wanted to stay married to her cheating husband.  This man-made so many promises that he was going to leave his wife and marry Diane but it never happened.

  She got so tired of being alone during the holidays and never fully being a part of his life and she spent twenty years of her life trying to please him so that he would see that she was worthy enough to become his wife one day.

This beautiful lady wasted her youth on a good for nothing liar and her beauty started to fade, it faded quickly because this old man stole her youth, he stole her happiness because of his own selfish needs. Guess what?? He doesn't really want Diane anymore but she keeps hanging on because she feels like she cannot do any better. 

 If you are like Diane, really think about this story because being with someone's husband will lead you on a road of lies and destruction.  They always say they will marry you but they won't.

You are worthy of a chance to get married and have the family you have always dreamed of and that will only happen with someone who is single and ready to make a commitment.  Never waste time on a sinking ship!

Picking My Battles Wisely.

I have had some things to confront this week that I want to talk about.  Someone tried to get me upset and was really wanting me to argue with them over something trivial. 

 I told the person that I didn't have the time to argue and it didn't make any sense to waste time on something that she was actually supposed to do and missed the mark.  A lot of times, people try to cover up their mistakes by putting the blame on you when it was their fault.

There will be a time in your life when you will decide that all battles are not yours to fight and I am too grown to have to deal with people's insecurities. 

I have no idea why we as women have a problem with dealing with past hurts and feel as if they have to strike out at someone.  What is wrong with talking like a human being and finding out what the problem really is instead of looking for a fight or argument.  Animals act in this manner.

We really have to change as women and as African American women we need to learn how to deal with people in a professional manner.  Yes, I said professional because this person works in a professional job and she has been slacking for months now and she doesn't want anyone to call her out.

Please pick your battles wisely, everything is not a reason to act in such a negative manner and if you make a mistake, just own up to it. You will go a lot further in your career and in every area of your life.  Life is just too short for foolishness. 

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

Image Courtesy Pixabay
Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

Old Doors Must Be Shut Closed ( Friendships And Relationships From The Past)

Image Courtesy Pixabay

A very close friend from my past decided to get in touch with me and the friendship was going well but it has hit a snag lately.

 It is no fault of mine but it could be expectations that weren't fulfilled and due to family obligations and her work obligations, we didn't have a chance to really enjoy ourselves in our friendship.

 I want to say that friendships from the past are very hard to reconnect because your relationship will never be the same as when you were a child because you are now a person with a lot of different things going on at the same time.

 I am okay with my friend not being available because with her schedule it is very hard to put a time together where we can have some fun time.

I would like to say that I don't think you should open any old doors from your past because they usually don't do well.

  Sometimes people contact you out of the blue for their selfish needs and after they have gotten what they want from you, they are now finished with the friendship.

Never will I again trust someone from my past and if I do see them, I will talk to them but will not try to restart the friendship because time is very important to me and I do not have it to waste.

God separated you from that person for a reason and it is best to walk in his obedience and you will be a happier person.  A lesson learned!

(Video) Loving Your Flaws

No matter how attractive you are, we all have flaws.  Some are seen but some are only seen by you but it is still something that bothers you.  Below are videos of people with flaws and how they overcame them.

I Am Secretly Getting Married Next Week.

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay
Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  I am getting married next week and I haven't told my family and my fiance hasn't told anyone in his family.

  I do not have a great relationship with my mom and dad because they never acted like they cared anything about me.  I feel invisible in my family.

 My sisters are in their own little world and they really could care less.  We are going to Las Vegas and we are talking about moving to Philadelphia.  Right now, I live in Chicago and there are not a whole lot of jobs here.  I  have been looking to make a new start.  I need your advice.


Sashamoniquetalks:  First, I want to say that I am happy for you but I think that you should give your mom and dad a chance to see you get married.

  At least talk to them about it.  You didn't tell me your age but If you are eighteen and over, you have the right to get married if you want to, but the negative energy that will occur if you do not give your family a chance to see you married would be long-lasting.

  You sound like you made up your mind and I wish you well in your marriage.

I Want To Get Married And I Want A Beautiful Ring!

Hello, Ladies. I had a conversation a few years ago with an acquaintance of mine and I am sure that she is okay with me sharing this.  She is forty plus and she has never been married.  She is a wonderful, God-fearing, and respectable lady, and she would be the perfect catch for any man.  She has dated some men and she knows exactly what she wants.

She asked me why I wear rings and who bought them and I told her that some were bought by other people and some were bought by me.  She then asked me why I would buy my own and I told her that, at my age, I cannot wait for someone to give me the gifts that I can give myself.

I have been married, so I was quite alarmed that she even asked me this question but I know that she was just asking a question.  She then said that she was waiting for the big, beautiful, diamond ring that would come when the right guy finds her and asked for her hand in marriage.

She then asked me why I don't just wear the rings on my right hand and I told her that, at my age, it doesn't really matter what hand I used to display my rings.

I am going to keep it real here and say that a lot of us are waiting for a dream that may not come true.
If you are forty years old and over, you should just buy the beautiful things that you want to wear and that fantastic diamond ring that you love and enjoy it.  The man of your dreams will still come if it is meant to be, even if you are wearing diamonds.

Some of us ladies are separated or divorced and we may not even be looking for another relationship but I want you ladies to keep looking good for yourself and spoil yourself if it is within your means.

A statement ring, bracelet, or necklace doesn't have to be expensive.  Never put your happiness on hold because you are waiting for love.  Live now, because tomorrow isn't promised.

Put some money aside and buy that big beautiful ring that you want and wear it with pride.  Love yourself because nobody is going to love you more.

How To Deal With A Stalker.

                                                   How To Deal With A Stalker

Hello, everyone.  There are times that we meet people and right away we have a feeling that this person cannot be trusted and may even have some dangerous tendencies.

  We second guess ourselves and soon we find out that we are in a serious situation and are faced with a stalker.  I have been in this situation and it isn't pretty at all.

  You have to look over your shoulder and also have to deal with the constant phone calls asking you where you are and the threats against you and your family members.

There are many things that you can do and the first thing you can do is change your phone number. If you are getting any threats, please call the police and file a report and get a restraining order.

 Make sure that you tell everyone in your family that you are dealing with a stalker and don't worry about being embarrassed.  If you brush this off, you may not have a chance to save your life.

  Your family should know where this person lives and any information that would be important if something happens to you.  Do not try to cover up for this person, because your life is in danger.

If you met this person online, report the profile and let the website know that this person is dangerous.

 Save all emails and text with the threats that this person made and give copies to your family members so you will have all the proof you need to get this person prosecuted.

Develop a code name if you must call your family discreetly so they will know that you are in danger and they can get you some help.

  Please do not meet up with this person and entertain them at all because this will give them hope that you will remain together.


Note:
Some stalkers are not known but you can still report anything unusual to the police and get an investigation started in this matter.

 Again, save all emails and text so you will have all the proof that you need.

If you have followed all the above advice and this person is still stalking you, you may have to move and get and use a mail forwarding service. Protect yourself!

Grandpa Wasn't Here But Now He's Here.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

He was tall, dark, and handsome.  He had the gift of gab that could curl any girls toes. His wife was kind and gentle.

 He was a father of many but barely around.  His little boys cried every night because he was in and out and more out than in and they felt rejection at every turn.

  A real father he wasn't. One of his kids was very hardworking and his father was too proud to show his child love.  A pat on the back or a gentle hug was badly needed

Years passed and grandchildren were born.  Mr. PaPa was proud and larger than life.  His grandchildren were his world as his son grimaced when PaPa showed the grandchildren love that he didn't have.

   I guess PaPa thought it was a way of making up to his children if he showed the grandchildren love but that child that just wanted his father to pick him up or tell him that he loved him still needed the love and care that was missing.

This is a lesson to anyone.  Love your children because you can never get the precious day's that were stolen from them

.  You cannot love your kids through the grandchildren because this is unfair and a hug and an apology is all that is needed. It is never too late to do better.  Show love and it will be returned a thousand times.

My Best Friend Had A Child By Another Man.

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  My best friend has a twelve-year-old daughter, and she has been married for fifteen years.  Her husband is a very good man and this is their only child. 

 He has no idea that the child isn't his. I want to tell him but I don't want their marriage to break up.  I even know the child's "Real" father.  He has a feeling that this little girl is his but he said that he would be responsible for child support if he gets a DNA (what a low life!). Should I tell the husband?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I think you should stay out of this because it is really none of your business.  You said that she is your best friend and it is not your duty to turn on her.  

In due time the husband will find out but right now this child has a father who really loves her.  Do not break this child's, heart.  The "Real" father doesn't sound responsible and he may do this child a disservice.