Lunch and chat with me/ He is not your kids uncle/ relationship and cheating advice.

I have a series that I do on YouTube where I have lunch and I chat with you.  Today I am eating Blaze Pizza and I talk about why Men respect the wedding ring but Women do not.  Sometimes, people think that they should date whomever they want without any consequences.  

People get married because of love but also because it is a contract between you and that other person.  To prove that it is a contract, you have to get a divorce to end it. So it isn't something that you should enter into without much thought.  

When you are dating a Man who is married, it affects everyone in the family, not just the wife.

Nobody really thinks about the children and how this affects their self-esteem.  Please check this video out, and please let me know what you think about this subject.

 

What is the best thing that you did for yourself this year?

What is the best thing that you did for yourself this year?

It took me a while to fully invest in myself.  This year, I made it my business to invest in my peace of mind.  I spent more money investing in my brand.  Trying to promote yourself is not easy because blogging is really over saturated. 

 I took the time to research what my audience like and I also took some quiet time to just focus on the things that I love and to rest.   Social media can be taxing on your body and your mind. 

 You try to support a lot of people and next thing you know, your day is totally gone.  I had to start doing what I required for myself.  Supporting myself became a big priority.

Updating my equipment to be a better creator is a must for me.  As I get older I want some of my content to concentrate on women who are in my age group because we are often ignored. 

 My biggest viewers of my blog and my YouTube channel are women 25-45 which is very surprising to me.  I love that they like my content without judging me because of my age.

It took me a long time to grow on both platforms and I am still not that popular but I am seeing a lot of growth from last year till now.  I think it is because I have become even more authentic.  

The best thing that I did for myself this year was to embrace every part of me and to know that I deserve the best.  That means for me to embrace my flaws and all.

I am going to be more consistent on my platforms and to share more of my life.  I appreciate you all for being here and supporting my content.  It means so much to me.

Family estrangements and how to cope with them

Family estrangements and how to cope with them

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Estrangements are one of the subjects that no one wants to talk about.  Most of the time we sweep things under the rug and just hope that they will magically go away.  It is something that should be talked about because it happens to so many of us.

Sometimes people decide to stop talking to their good friends and family because a lot of things happened such as abuse, alienation, being mean and not hearing people, being judgmental and etc.

But sometimes it comes from people using this tactic to try to control their friends or family. People have the right to protect their sanity and their family but there is the narcissist who uses it to come into people's lives and then abruptly leave for no reason at all.  Then they will come back and do the same thing.

You often wonder what did I say, what happened.  You cannot remember what you did and you come to the conclusion that you haven't done anything.  Some people have an abusive personality and they want to abuse you and gaslight you in a way where you are constantly wondering what happened.

I am not a psychiatrist or a therapist but I refuse to put up with such nonsense from a friend or family.  Get counseling and also read some self-help books to heal from this emotional abuse because that is what it is.  Never allow someone to do this to you.  It is quite painful emotionally.

Life is too short. Keep people in your life who add to your life in a positive way. Sometimes people are not going to care about you and you have to be honest with yourself regarding this.  Do not let anyone use you as their whipping board.

Do you mirror your friends?

Do you mirror your friends?

Over my lifetime I have had friends that dressed the same, act the same, and dated the same kind of people. Some of these people were doing this because maybe they felt that they wouldn't fit in if they didn't.  I never really fit in, so I didn't care to dress the way they dress, or talk the way they talk, and I definitely, didn't want the same kind of boyfriends that they had.  

My friends who did this even shared some of the negative aspects of their friends' lives.  One person, in particular, had gotten pregnant as a teen because her friend did, and she wanted to be a teen mom just like her.  

The problem with this is the fact that the friend (the leader) had a very supportive mom who helped her throughout her pregnancy but the friend who mirrored her friend ended up without any support. 

Her mom was a single parent and she had four kids.  She didn't want her daughter to turn out like her.  She didn't have enough money to have another mouth to feed.  She had warned her daughter many times that she would end up homeless if she became pregnant or if she became incarcerated. 

She didn't realize that her daughter didn't love herself.  Her daughter was actually a very smart young lady, but she had fallen because of peer pressure and because she didn't feel good about herself.  

Her daughter ended up in a shelter for unwed mothers (that is what it was called at that time).  What seemed like a fate that you would not wish on your worst enemy ended up becoming a blessing in disguise.  

She had a lot of services at her fingertips.  She was able to get a trade and have parenting classes, and she started mirroring the positive people who were in her life. 

What started as a negative trait ended up saving her life.  She was able to get a great job, put her child in great schools, and worked on her self-esteem.  You see, that was the main reason why she ended up as a single mom. 

She started counseling to see how and why she felt very low about herself.  My friend totally changed her life around. The moral of this story is for you to surround yourself with people who are doing great things in their life and also learn to love yourself. 

 There was a time when I didn't love myself but I had to reach inside myself to find out about all the great things that I had to offer the world.  I also spent a lot of time alone and I began to love myself.  I started to educate myself quietly so I didn't have to deal with the negative opinions of others. 

I don't care what your life looks like at this time.  You may not have the same things that your friends have. You may live in the inner city and don't have much support.  Start researching different services in your local library and places like The Urban League to see whether they have free classes or groups for someone like you.

Try not to mirror anyone.  Be yourself and work on yourself.  You do not have to be in competition with other people.  You are great!  With a positive outlook, you are going to do great things in your life.