(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife. What A Snake!

(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife.

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Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen, this article is a blind item so here it goes.  The husband was a tall, good looking light brown-skinned man and he was very hardworking, The wife was a plus-sized woman and she always wore her hair in fabulous braids,

 I had never seen anyone's hair braided in such a beautiful manner.  She loved to hang out in clubs while her wonderful husband was at work. This woman was very flirtatious and she attracted a lot of men at the clubs she attended.

Her husband's cousin was a tall, dark and handsome man with brown eyes, he was very soft-spoken but a snake.

He was a snake because, the same club that his cousin's wife went to, he attended also, and they would dance together, they also danced together in the bedroom but the husband nor the cousin's wife did not know what was going on.

 The cousin came home with lipstick on his shirt but he said that he was dancing with the cousin's wife and accidentally her lipstick got on his shirt (Clues!)  The cousin's wife was in denial and was trying hard to work on her marriage.

As time passed, the cousin's wife found out what was going on and she was long gone but the secret was kept for a long time from the husband, but now the covers come off and the cousin is now revealed as the snake that he always been.

I bet this isn't the first time that this man slept with his family's wives and it won't be the last.  Never trust anyone!  (Covers comes off)

My Daughter Is Out Of Control.

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My daughter is out of control!

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sasha, my daughter is fifteen and she is starting to get into trouble and act very wild. I am at my wit's end with this child. She is too big to spank and she knows it and she is sneaking out the house when I go to bed.

 She is not doing anything in school and she was kicked out of regular high school so I got her into an alternative school so she can still get her high school Diploma. She was caught stealing two years ago and she has bought a lot of shame to me. I don't know what to do, Sasha.

Sashamoniquetalks: You said that your daughter is starting to get into trouble, yet you said that she was caught stealing two years ago. It sounds like the problem started two years ago and talk to your daughter very casually to see what occurred.

 You didn't say whether or not her dad is around but it sounds like he isn't because he would be backing you up in this situation. Speak to the Guidance Counselor at her school to see if anything serious is going on at school and also take your daughter for counseling.

 When she sneaks out of the house, call the police so that it can be a record of your daughter doing this so you can protect yourself. Talk to your child's friends parents to see what is really going on. Please let me know what happens regarding this.

Should I Let My Daughter Go To The Movies With Her Friends?

                                                        SashaMoniqueTalks

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha, My daughter wants to go out with friends to the movies and then out to eat.  I trust her friends but their older brother who is 27, like my fifteen-year-old daughter, and she told me she didn't feel comfortable with him in the past.  He makes little comments about her looks and her body shape, he would be the one driving them around.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would not let my daughter go out with friends to the movies when you already know that their brother likes your daughter because his infatuation with your daughter is not appropriate at all.  See if her friend's parents will let you be the chaperone and if not, let your daughter go out with her friends where you have personally met their parents and other family members.  You cannot afford to be too lax when it comes to your children.

Why Are You Willing To Be His Side Chick?

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I hear women all the time bragging about taking someone's husband or being in a relationship with a man who has numerous women.  I really had to think and see what they are getting out of this kind of relationship.

 Some women have even said that they don't want to be with the man all the time so they choose this kind of relationship because it is flexible; when they don't want to be bothered they know he will go to his wife or the other side chick.

  There are a lot of women going with older men to get them to finance their lifestyle and they really are not attracted to this person but they are in it to get what they get.

What You Don't Realize

This man is using you for sex and sometimes for your money, he just wants you around to stroke his ego and when he is tired of dealing with you, he will go to his other woman or his wife, you are just a temporary fix for his sexual appetite.

He complains about his wife, but he is not making a move to leave her because it is obvious, that he really loves her but he is no good and he really doesn't want to ruin their relationship.

He has kids with numerous women and you don't require much because you know as his side chick you are not going to receive much from him because he is paying a lot of child support or he is ducking the mothers to avoid paying child support.

This jerk is using you as a shoulder to cry on when things are not good at home and you let him come and stay with you a few days and then he is back home with the so-called miserable wife that he is so unhappy with.

A lot of times he doesn't want to be seen out with you because he is dating so many women.

This guy is in and out of jail and he needs you to be his support system when he gets out of jail.  He doesn't care anything about you, you are just a safety net.


You Are Worth More Than This Ladies!

When you are dating a new man, try to see where he is living and who he is living with and ask questions because sometimes a man will tell you directly where he is coming from but there are others that will lie constantly.

 If you catch this man in a bunch of lies when you are first dating, the lies will only get worse and you will find yourself in a relationship that is difficult and it will not lead to anything worthwhile.

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

My Best Friend Had A Child By Another Man.

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  My best friend has a twelve-year-old daughter, and she has been married for fifteen years.  Her husband is a very good man and this is their only child. 

 He has no idea that the child isn't his. I want to tell him but I don't want their marriage to break up.  I even know the child's "Real" father.  He has a feeling that this little girl is his but he said that he would be responsible for child support if he gets a DNA (what a low life!). Should I tell the husband?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I think you should stay out of this because it is really none of your business.  You said that she is your best friend and it is not your duty to turn on her.  

In due time the husband will find out but right now this child has a father who really loves her.  Do not break this child's, heart.  The "Real" father doesn't sound responsible and he may do this child a disservice. 

You Wanted Me Dead!!!!

                                                        You Wanted Me Dead!

You made your appearance and I thought you were perfect.  Moved very fast to catch my attention but you already had your devious intentions. 

 You played the game so easily to catch me in your web of deception.  You sought me out because you thought I was pliable and could be molded into anything that you wanted.  Never were you concerned about what my dreams were.

Barefoot and pregnant was part of the plan.  You wanted to manipulate me and I walk behind, not thinking that this queen had God by her side.  I questioned him and couldn't find the answer but little that I knew he guided my footsteps. 

 Battered and broken was my name and he took my hand and gave me courage.  Courage to break free of your devilish scheme. Free to live and free to love.

No longer in your prison that you had planned for me. No longer in the grave that you dug for me.  I am free, never to return to you.  You wanted me dead but now you lay in your own coffin.

Today Is Mother's Day But Need To Get Something Off My Chest (Father's)

Hello, everyone, today is Mother's Day and it is a great day for us mothers who have worked hard and reared our children.  I have to say this Ladies and Gentlemen, it is hard to do it alone.

  I have done it and I would not wish it on my worst enemy but sometimes you have no choice in the matter.  Life throws a curve ball and you have to deal with the hand that you are dealt.  

I want fathers to realize that just because your ex is out of your life, gives you no excuse to not support your children.

He or she may be grown now but they are looking for encouragement and support and even advice from you.  Don't think that they are looking for financial support because that may not be the case. 

Think about the times that your dad took you to play ball or told you that you were doing a great job.  They also had to scold you from time to time; It supported your growth as an adult and as a human being.

Maybe your daughter wanted you to walk her down the aisle or give her advice.  Your nonchalant attitude is not an excuse to totally zone out of her life. 

 Yes, she is grown but she needed that hug, she needed that message to just hear the right words that only you could give.  She wanted to see you hug that beautiful child that she brought into the world. 

 Her scars are there and again mommy has to come with the handkerchief to wipe the tears from her face.

Do you have a heart, heck no!  Your concern is only about you as it has always been. The missing puzzle that can never be found, the voice that is silenced.  The realization that time is of the essence because mortality has no warning.  This is something to think about you guys but not only think about it but do something about it.  Time is not on your side. 

He Stayed With The Other Woman On Valentines Day (Update)

Anonymous:  Hello, Sasha.  I have an update on the question that I had on Valentine's Day.  I told you that my husband stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day and I am so happy right now because I told him that I was unhappy in my marriage and he didn't give me the respect or the attention that I needed. 

 I could not take it anymore and I asked him to move out.  I felt sad for about two weeks but Sasha, I am so relieved and I have been going out with my friends and really having a good time.  Wasn't aware of how tied down I was.  

He asked me to let him come back home and he said that he really loves me.  I flat out told his crazy behind that I will never let him come back and I am glad that he is gone. Some other opportunities have opened up for me in my career and I am happy about that.  Ten years is too long to be miserable and I got my life back.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am so surprised to hear back from you. So glad that you took the steps to fix this situation and happiness and contentment is very important.  That is great news about the opportunities that has opened up for you.  You are no longer tied down and you are free to live and be happy. Wishing you the best blessings and please stay in touch with me.

You are trying to get pregnant to trap him

Throughout my life, I have known women who meet a man; who is tall dark, and handsome and they make up in their mind that they will get this man and they try to find a way to hold this man down.  

They start manipulating their birth control so they can get pregnant.  Most of these women know that this man does not want any children but they are willing to get pregnant anyway because if they cannot keep him, they will have his baby.

Some of these men have told these women that they better not get pregnant and these women still get pregnant anyway.  I have never seen any of these situations work out because a man should have a right to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. 

 If he is using birth control methods to try to prevent pregnancy and you manipulate his choices, then you will be alone and you will have to live with the decisions that you made.

Everybody Has Family Rifts But You Can Recover And Move Forward.

Most of us have family rifts and disagreements and sometimes we have problems moving forward.  If the rifts last too long, it can be extremely hard to recover and time can past that none of us can get back. 

 There are times that we let our pride get in the way.  I think the older you get, the more stubborn you get and set in your own ways.  Happiness is within reach if two people can just learn to sit down and talk about the things that went wrong in the relationship.

I have had these situations happen to me as well and it gets very tiring and it kills your spirit.  I believe that therapy is the best way to learn how to communicate in an effective manner.  Some of us don't have the time or our insurance may not cover these therapy sessions.  I know that there are some that have a sliding scale payment and this can make it very affordable. 

 In the meantime, there are ways that you can work on yourself and that is through self-help books.  I am a fan of these kinds of books because you can read them on your own time and you can privately address your personal issues.

I would like to suggest this book if you are interested and you can get it here.  This book is very informative and you will definitely learn better ways of coping and moving forward.

He Makes A Difference In My Children

Anonymous: Hello, SashaMonique, I have a big problem and I hope you can help me.  I have been married for five years and I have two little girls. 

 One is nine and the other is seven years old.  The seven-year-old is very fond of my husband and he seems to really care about her.  He thinks of her as his daughter.

 The other daughter, he doesn't care for, he said she is fresh and disrespectful.  My daughter does talk back and I spoke to her regarding her attitude.  He doesn't realize, that she is just a little girl and he needs to give her a chance. 

 My ex-husband doesn't spend any time with the girls and this has been very hard on them.  What can I do SashaMonique?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I hope I can help you.  You said that your husband really loves the seven-year-old and he probably thinks of her as a baby. 

 The nine-year-old is having a hard time sharing her family with her step-dad.  Maybe you can talk to him to reach out to get to know her more and do some father-daughter activities and tell your daughter, that she is being disrespectful and that is why the step-dad is avoiding her. 

 It would also be good if you can get in touch with your ex-husband so he can spend time with the girls.  You can also ask a reliable male, family member to act as a mentor or father figure to the girls. 

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out. 

Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

                                         Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

Gentlemen, I wanted to touch on this subject because the holidays are upon us and it can be a very sad time for many men who don't have family or family they have given up. You may have had a relationship with a woman and things didn't go as planned and you have a child or children together. You may not get along with the mother or you are restricted from seeing your children but it is not an excuse to abandon your child.

We have Skype and Facetime and it makes it easier than ever to communicate with your children on a regular basis. If you are incarcerated, you can write your children letters to keep the parental relationship going. Please do not abandon your children over things the other parent is doing or not doing.

Many children of separation or Divorce are broken.  They are broken because they are silent victims of the decisions that their mother or father made. 

 I am a child of Divorce and let me tell you, I was sad most of my life because of it.  I don't blame my parents because sometimes things happen in a marriage that cannot be repaired.  One good thing, my father stayed in my life and refused to spend his life without us and it did make a difference in my life.

If you haven't seen your kids for a very long time, you can believe that one day your child will come looking for you. I think that it is never too late to reconnect with your children and if they find you, please do not reject your children. 

Life is short and you do not know why this child is looking for you.  They may be saying goodbye because of an illness or the other parent could be dying.  Give your kids a chance because they are here because of your choices.  

Be civil to your child's mom, so you can have a great relationship with your kids.  Help the mother financially to take care of your children and if you are out of work or on low-income support the other parent by babysitting the kids and picking them up from school. 

 This would help so much. There are so many things you can do to help the mother of your children and it doesn't involve a lot of money.

I hope that this post is helpful to you and if you would like to add anything, please leave a comment.

I Really Don't Want To Be Around Some Family Members This Year.

Anonymous Question:  Hi, Sasha, I am supposed to go to a get-together with family members in a couple of weeks but there are some people who are coming and I really don't enjoy their company. 

 One person is very loud and I cannot stand being around this person.  Another one is a drama queen and she always wants attention so she starts trouble at every dinner.  I told some of my family members that I would never go to anything that they are giving.

  My mother told me that she wants me to go and I feel obligated. I don't want to upset my mother.  What should I do?

Sashamoniquetalks, This is a tough question.  You could just stay home but it might be nice if you just go and stay about an hour or so and then leave. 

 You may even find that this year may be different and you might want to stay longer.  The truth is, families are getting smaller and smaller due to family members dying or they live in another part of the country. If you go, just be friendly to everyone and then prepare your exit.

How Deal With Being A Step Parent.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit

Dating is hard, very hard and most women date with the expectation that one day they will find a good man and get married.  Sometimes we come across men who will date you and may even like to be in a relationship but he isn't interested in marriage.  

The man may have all the qualities that you would like your mate to have.  You ask him whether he would like to get married one day and sometimes he will tell you that he would like too many years from now and other times, he will flat out tell you that he cannot see himself ever getting married.  What should you do?

Some of us have been in this situation and I can tell you that a man will give clues about whether he would like to be in a committed relationship or not.  He could be a person who has been single for many years and has never married or a single father who never talks about marriage or talks about it in a negative way. 

 The first thing you should do if you are a person who wants to marry one day is to ask the man and if he says that he doesn't ever want to get married, then you have to respect his wishes but you also must let him know that you would like to be married one day and tell him that you will not be able to pursue this relationship further because you cannot waste your time.

Do not try to get him to change his mind because men usually tell us the truth or show us the truth and we won't accept it because we feel that we can change his mind.  You can never change a man and what you can do is work on yourself and only date men who are equally excited about getting married one day.

If you have been with a man for a few years and he says that he will marry you someday but it is taking years, then you must break off that relationship because you are wasting your time and you could meet a man and he may marry you within a year or two. 

 Stop letting these men set dates and timelines in your life and wasting your time.  You are attractive and you have a lot to offer.  If you are firm in your decision, the right man will come along and be happy to marry you.