(Video) How To Stop Being A Doormat

Stop Being A Doormat.

Sometimes it is easier said than done but some of us have lived the lifestyle of being agreeable and taking the backseat when we should have been more present and expressed what we are really feeling.  There are people who are a doormat and don't even know that they are because this is what they have seen in their life.

This video below is very pertinent and an eye-opener and it gives insight on how to change this behavior.

Check Out A Man Before You Date Him.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Ladies, last night I was looking at a website regarding sex offenders, and would you believe, I saw many people that I have seen while shopping and people I  have gone to school with.  There were even men in their 80's on this website.  The website is: http://www.sexoffendersarchive.com/

and you can search using your zip code.  

We have to be very careful when dating and when even having family members around your children.  Most of the men on this site were boyfriends who offended their girlfriend's kids and also men who were left babysitting kids.  You cannot be too careful and I urge you ladies to take your time and check and see if the man you are thinking of dating, is on this website.

Some of us are letting men live with us and having them around our children too fast.  If you care anything about your children, you will stop this practice. Make sure this man is safe to be around children and also whether he has violent tendencies because many women have lost their kids to murder also.

Never sacrifice your children to be with a predator!

The Traits Of A Stalker.

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay


Stalkers are among us, you guys, they don't always look like the creepy man or woman who is very unattractive and strange acting, in fact, some of them look like the boy or girl next door and they can be very normal and quite attractive.  However, most of them exhibit the same traits and it is very important to learn what these traits are.

 They are very clingy and they want to track your every move.  They spy on you when you least expect it, and they will make your life a living hell.  Below are some videos regarding this subject so you can familiarize yourself with all the things to look for in an unstable lover.

Do not take stalking lightly.  If you are being stalked, please contact the local police authorities as soon as possible and file a police report.

You Wanted Me Dead!!!!

                                                        You Wanted Me Dead!

You made your appearance and I thought you were perfect.  Moved very fast to catch my attention but you already had your devious intentions. 

 You played the game so easily to catch me in your web of deception.  You sought me out because you thought I was pliable and could be molded into anything that you wanted.  Never were you concerned about what my dreams were.

Barefoot and pregnant was part of the plan.  You wanted to manipulate me and I walk behind, not thinking that this queen had God by her side.  I questioned him and couldn't find the answer but little that I knew he guided my footsteps. 

 Battered and broken was my name and he took my hand and gave me courage.  Courage to break free of your devilish scheme. Free to live and free to love.

No longer in your prison that you had planned for me. No longer in the grave that you dug for me.  I am free, never to return to you.  You wanted me dead but now you lay in your own coffin.

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

Moving Past Pain And Shame In Your Life.

Today, I decided to do a post instead of a question and answer segment.  Moving past pain and shame is something that needs to be talked about.  A lot of us have had terrible things happen to us and the secret pain that we hold in our hearts is sometimes unbearable. 

 We have to grin and bear it to make the outside world comfortable. Comfortable why? because people don't want to see or know the truth about your journey.

We are shameful because of things that were inflicted on us.  I ask God every day (Why I have to carry this burden.) The burden that wasn't mine but was forced on me.   Trying to move on is very hard but you have to choose happiness. 

 You will never forget the things that you have gone through but God gave us life and what we do with this life will determine the outcome.

In my African American community, we are taught not to talk about abuse or the people who took it upon themselves to torture our souls but I feel that the person who found it easy to abuse and takes advantage of us should be the one who carries life long of shame. 

 The best thing we can do is talk about this situation with someone we trust to release these issues of they will tear us apart emotionally.

We have to stop covering up for someone who is downright evil.  They should be the one who carries the scarlet letter instead of us.

Signs My Boyfriend Doesn't love Me!

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay   

                                        

We have all dated and experienced breakups and it is never easy.  Below,  you will see some of the signs.  There are always signs but we may not recognize them.

1. He never takes me out.
2. I have never met his family or friends.
3. He calls me his friend.
4. He never buys me anything.
5. He hits me.
6. He lies to me constantly.
7. He only sees me on certain days.
8. Tells me, I am ugly.
9. He dates other people.
10. Steals from me.
11. Get another woman pregnant.
12. Makes fun of me.
13. Uses me for sex.
14. Brings another woman to my house.
15. He's married.
16. Makes me buy him things.
17. Keeps breaking up with me.
18. Not willing to marry me.
19. Hates my children.
20. Tells me he hates me and my family.

If you have answered yes to any of these answers you may be involved with a man who doesn't love or respect you.  You cannot change him and what you see is what you get.  Do not be a slave to love because you will be the one who is hurt.  Men tend to respect women who respect themselves.