(Men) Top Don'ts In A Relationship.

(Men) Top Don'ts In A Relationship.


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Hello Gentlemen, these are tips for men to stop doing these things in their relationships.

1. If your girlfriend doesn't feel well, don't come over because she doesn't want any company.
2. If your girl is cooking expensive dishes, such as; shrimp, lobster, and oxtails.  "I Love Oxtails" do not show up with any of your friends unless she specifically invites them.
3. Do not absolutely, do not come to her house with extra clothes (trying to move in on the sly) because she didn't ask you to move in.
4. Do not kiss her if your breath smells bad.
5. Do not show up at her house late if she told you to come by 7pm, do not come at 11pm.
6. Do not come to her house with five of your kids if she didn't ask you to.
7. Don't keep the toilet seat up because she hates that.
8. Do not text someone while you are at her house. (this is disrespectful.)
9. Please do not avoid calling her for three weeks and then just show up at her house unannounced.
10. Do not have her thinking you are going to marry her if you do not intend to.

These rules are very easy to follow and she will love you for being considerate.  Please leave comments if you would like to leave even more tips.

(Video) How To Stop Being A Doormat

Stop Being A Doormat.

Sometimes it is easier said than done but some of us have lived the lifestyle of being agreeable and taking the backseat when we should have been more present and expressed what we are really feeling.  There are people who are a doormat and don't even know that they are because this is what they have seen in their life.

This video below is very pertinent and an eye-opener and it gives insight on how to change this behavior.

Listening is fundamental to your success.

Listening is fundamental to your success.

We live in a society where everyone is running around living by their own rules. They never consider other people's opinions and in the long run, they will start to run into major problems. You say that if only they would have listened their result would have been more positive.

 When you only listen to your voice or people who lack the skills to carry on an intelligent conversation or mindset, you will find that you will constantly run into a brick wall.

No one has all the answers, not even me, but there is always someone who has lived a story similar to your own and can tell you how they got through their situations.

 You do not have to agree with everything that is said but keep your heart and mind open so that you can grow and attract positive, responsible, experiences.

A closed-minded person can never grow because they feel that they have all the answers and when they fall, they will often come back to the person who was trying to help them in the beginning.

 Being prideful will not get you anywhere in this life because you will find that rules are meant to be followed, to constantly break them is truly insane.

Do not be your own worst enemy. Listening is fundamental.

I Went To Jamaica For Two Years And Just Found Out I Am Divorced

I Went To Jamaica For Two Years And Just Found Out I Am Divorced.


Image Courtesy Pixabay

Anonymous Question: Hello, SashaMonique, I went to Jamaica and stayed for two years because I love acting and singing but the market is not good in the state where I live. Many days I dreamed about living in Jamaica, it was something that I was adamant about.

The problem is, I have a husband of seven years and he is really kind and sweet but I told him that I wanted to move to Jamaica and he said that he couldn't go because he had a lot going on in his career right now and he knew that it would harder to establish himself in a career in Jamaica.

My husband told me to go and he would support me in anything that I wanted to do.  Secretly, I was hoping he would change his mind and come with me.  Never have I had a problem with my husband and we were truly in love with each other.

So, two years passed and I decided to come home and when I opened the door, I saw all sorts of letters on the floor and my husband was not there. I went next door to talk to my neighbor and he said that my husband had moved out eight months ago.

My neighbor also told me that my husband was married to someone else, I said that it couldn't be true and he assured me that it was. I did not believe that my marriage was over so I did some more checking and my neighbor was right, my husband divorced me and he did it illegally.

Now, I am in a very dark place in my life, because things did not pan out in Jamaica and I don't have a job or anything.  I am sorry for the long question but I hope that you can help me.

Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello, I am so sorry that this happened to you but I wonder whether or not your husband had a relationship going on before you left because it sounds like this could be a possibility.  Now, I am going to say this, why would you go to another country without your husband?  You took a big chance.

There is a possibility that your husband really loved you but could not deal with you being gone.  Please go and seek some legal advice to see if you can get some financial compensation such as; Alimony because he definitely did this behind your back.

Speak to some of his family members to find out all the details of why your husband married his current wife.  I cannot answer any further because this is a legal matter.

(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife. What A Snake!

(Blind Item) He Dated His Own Cousin's Wife.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen, this article is a blind item so here it goes.  The husband was a tall, good looking light brown-skinned man and he was very hardworking, The wife was a plus-sized woman and she always wore her hair in fabulous braids,

 I had never seen anyone's hair braided in such a beautiful manner.  She loved to hang out in clubs while her wonderful husband was at work. This woman was very flirtatious and she attracted a lot of men at the clubs she attended.

Her husband's cousin was a tall, dark and handsome man with brown eyes, he was very soft-spoken but a snake.

He was a snake because, the same club that his cousin's wife went to, he attended also, and they would dance together, they also danced together in the bedroom but the husband nor the cousin's wife did not know what was going on.

 The cousin came home with lipstick on his shirt but he said that he was dancing with the cousin's wife and accidentally her lipstick got on his shirt (Clues!)  The cousin's wife was in denial and was trying hard to work on her marriage.

As time passed, the cousin's wife found out what was going on and she was long gone but the secret was kept for a long time from the husband, but now the covers come off and the cousin is now revealed as the snake that he always been.

I bet this isn't the first time that this man slept with his family's wives and it won't be the last.  Never trust anyone!  (Covers comes off)

My Daughter Is Out Of Control.

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My daughter is out of control!

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sasha, my daughter is fifteen and she is starting to get into trouble and act very wild. I am at my wit's end with this child. She is too big to spank and she knows it and she is sneaking out the house when I go to bed.

 She is not doing anything in school and she was kicked out of regular high school so I got her into an alternative school so she can still get her high school Diploma. She was caught stealing two years ago and she has bought a lot of shame to me. I don't know what to do, Sasha.

Sashamoniquetalks: You said that your daughter is starting to get into trouble, yet you said that she was caught stealing two years ago. It sounds like the problem started two years ago and talk to your daughter very casually to see what occurred.

 You didn't say whether or not her dad is around but it sounds like he isn't because he would be backing you up in this situation. Speak to the Guidance Counselor at her school to see if anything serious is going on at school and also take your daughter for counseling.

 When she sneaks out of the house, call the police so that it can be a record of your daughter doing this so you can protect yourself. Talk to your child's friends parents to see what is really going on. Please let me know what happens regarding this.

Check Out A Man Before You Date Him.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

Ladies, last night I was looking at a website regarding sex offenders, and would you believe, I saw many people that I have seen while shopping and people I  have gone to school with.  There were even men in their 80's on this website.  The website is: http://www.sexoffendersarchive.com/

and you can search using your zip code.  

We have to be very careful when dating and when even having family members around your children.  Most of the men on this site were boyfriends who offended their girlfriend's kids and also men who were left babysitting kids.  You cannot be too careful and I urge you ladies to take your time and check and see if the man you are thinking of dating, is on this website.

Some of us are letting men live with us and having them around our children too fast.  If you care anything about your children, you will stop this practice. Make sure this man is safe to be around children and also whether he has violent tendencies because many women have lost their kids to murder also.

Never sacrifice your children to be with a predator!

The Traits Of A Stalker.

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Stalkers are among us, you guys, they don't always look like the creepy man or woman who is very unattractive and strange acting, in fact, some of them look like the boy or girl next door and they can be very normal and quite attractive.  However, most of them exhibit the same traits and it is very important to learn what these traits are.

 They are very clingy and they want to track your every move.  They spy on you when you least expect it, and they will make your life a living hell.  Below are some videos regarding this subject so you can familiarize yourself with all the things to look for in an unstable lover.

Do not take stalking lightly.  If you are being stalked, please contact the local police authorities as soon as possible and file a police report.

He Lost His Way And Now He Wants You To Bail Him Out!

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Hello, everyone.  This is not a question and answers session but something that has happened in my personal life at one time or another.

He Lost His Way And Now He Wants You To Bail Him Out!

I was involved with this man many, many, years ago.  He was very self-centered and was only looking for a way to advance his dreams by using women.  He was very attractive and he knew it. 

 He played the game of pretending to be in love with me to accomplish everything that he wanted.  His caresses and his tender kisses were something out of this world.

After a while, I caught on to his schemes and I was finished with him.  For some reason he felt that after all, I had been through, he had a right to try to re-enter my life.

  He didn't realize that this lady had in fact moved on and no longer had feelings to give him a chance.  He didn't have sense enough to have enough pride to not approach me again.

The moral of this story is, never let anyone take you for granted.  If you hurt me once, you will hurt me again.  I don't owe you even a conversation with your sob story of how your life didn't turn out the way you expected.

  Hold your head up high and quickly say no to his advances and keep it moving because you know that he hasn't changed and if he did, let him be a better person for somebody else.  

Sometimes it isn't worth it to give second chances.  Guarding your heart is one of the best gifts that God will give you if you will just listen to him and follow his leading you will have a better result.

Intuition is there for a reason and if you had listened before, you would not be carrying this scar to your heart and your soul. 

 So, his life is in shambles, it is not your fault or your problem.

Let him straighten his own mess and he will be a better person for it.

(Video) Loving Your Flaws

No matter how attractive you are, we all have flaws.  Some are seen but some are only seen by you but it is still something that bothers you.  Below are videos of people with flaws and how they overcame them.

I Am Secretly Getting Married Next Week.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  I am getting married next week and I haven't told my family and my fiance hasn't told anyone in his family.

  I do not have a great relationship with my mom and dad because they never acted like they cared anything about me.  I feel invisible in my family.

 My sisters are in their own little world and they really could care less.  We are going to Las Vegas and we are talking about moving to Philadelphia.  Right now, I live in Chicago and there are not a whole lot of jobs here.  I  have been looking to make a new start.  I need your advice.


Sashamoniquetalks:  First, I want to say that I am happy for you but I think that you should give your mom and dad a chance to see you get married.

  At least talk to them about it.  You didn't tell me your age but If you are eighteen and over, you have the right to get married if you want to, but the negative energy that will occur if you do not give your family a chance to see you married would be long-lasting.

  You sound like you made up your mind and I wish you well in your marriage.

You Wanted Me Dead!!!!

                                                        You Wanted Me Dead!

You made your appearance and I thought you were perfect.  Moved very fast to catch my attention but you already had your devious intentions. 

 You played the game so easily to catch me in your web of deception.  You sought me out because you thought I was pliable and could be molded into anything that you wanted.  Never were you concerned about what my dreams were.

Barefoot and pregnant was part of the plan.  You wanted to manipulate me and I walk behind, not thinking that this queen had God by her side.  I questioned him and couldn't find the answer but little that I knew he guided my footsteps. 

 Battered and broken was my name and he took my hand and gave me courage.  Courage to break free of your devilish scheme. Free to live and free to love.

No longer in your prison that you had planned for me. No longer in the grave that you dug for me.  I am free, never to return to you.  You wanted me dead but now you lay in your own coffin.

He Stayed With The Other Woman On Valentines Day (Update)

Anonymous:  Hello, Sasha.  I have an update on the question that I had on Valentine's Day.  I told you that my husband stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day and I am so happy right now because I told him that I was unhappy in my marriage and he didn't give me the respect or the attention that I needed. 

 I could not take it anymore and I asked him to move out.  I felt sad for about two weeks but Sasha, I am so relieved and I have been going out with my friends and really having a good time.  Wasn't aware of how tied down I was.  

He asked me to let him come back home and he said that he really loves me.  I flat out told his crazy behind that I will never let him come back and I am glad that he is gone. Some other opportunities have opened up for me in my career and I am happy about that.  Ten years is too long to be miserable and I got my life back.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am so surprised to hear back from you. So glad that you took the steps to fix this situation and happiness and contentment is very important.  That is great news about the opportunities that has opened up for you.  You are no longer tied down and you are free to live and be happy. Wishing you the best blessings and please stay in touch with me.

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out. 

I don't want to go to the Christmas party because I don't have a date.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha:  I have a Christmas party to attend but I don't feel comfortable going because I don't have a date.  All the women at my job are married or in a relationship.  I don't know what to do but cancel or not show up.

Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello:  I think that you should absolutely go to the party even though you don't have a date.  You may meet a nice gentleman  or I am sure that you will see other women by themselves.  You could even ask a male friend of yours to go or take your best girlfriend. Don't let not having a man stop you from enjoying life.  

My family doen't know how sick I am. Should I tell them?

Anonymous Question:  I have been battling Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Lupus for a little over a year.  My children have seen me sick and my husband doesn't pay attention enough to notice how sick I really am.

 I didn't tell them because I do not want them to be scared.  I am working full time but I don't know for how long.  I am having issues being intimate with my husband because of my health issues.  Should I tell them?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I don't answer questions that are health related but I had to answer this one because I am battling a lot of health issues myself and I feel that I can give you the best answer concerning this.

I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure many years ago and at the time my daughter was 9 years old.  I didn't want to tell my family but things got so bad and I had to tell someone about it. They were and still are very helpful to me.

Please tell your family exactly what is going on because it is no disgrace to be sick.  You need the support of your family and if you do not tell them, you will fall into a deep depression.

 Your family will help you and it will make it easier to cope with your illnesses.  Let your husband know and tell your doctor that you are having trouble being intimate with your husband.  There are things that can be done to restore your intimacy.

 You do not have to deal with this alone.  Join some online support groups with people who have the same health problems that you do and it will give you hope to go on with your life. 

If you do not feel like you can continue working full-time, please let your husband know so you two can make some decisions.  There are so many programs available for people with disabilities and you could also work at home online.

I Am Secretly Eating Myself To Death

Anonymous:  I have been overweight all of my life.  Nobody sees me overeat because when they see a woman of my size they just assumes that I eat all the time, so, when out with my friends I don't eat or I eat very little. 

 I cannot lose weight because when I am home I hide snacks in my room and when I am alone I overeat.  I am so disappointed in myself.  I don't know what to do.



Sashamoniquetalks:  I understand where you are coming from because as a teen I was putting on weight and would go clothes shopping and at the time, the clothes for plus size girls were not youthful looking.   I used to hide food so I hear where you are coming from.  

What you can do is see a nutritionist who will show you how to choose healthy choices.
Join a support group where you can meet other young ladies in the same situation.
Love yourself young lady and experiment with hair and clothes and accept the pretty lady that  you are.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, it will be a lot easier to lose weight.

I Really Don't Want To Be Around Some Family Members This Year.

Anonymous Question:  Hi, Sasha, I am supposed to go to a get-together with family members in a couple of weeks but there are some people who are coming and I really don't enjoy their company. 

 One person is very loud and I cannot stand being around this person.  Another one is a drama queen and she always wants attention so she starts trouble at every dinner.  I told some of my family members that I would never go to anything that they are giving.

  My mother told me that she wants me to go and I feel obligated. I don't want to upset my mother.  What should I do?

Sashamoniquetalks, This is a tough question.  You could just stay home but it might be nice if you just go and stay about an hour or so and then leave. 

 You may even find that this year may be different and you might want to stay longer.  The truth is, families are getting smaller and smaller due to family members dying or they live in another part of the country. If you go, just be friendly to everyone and then prepare your exit.

If You Need Some Advice, Feel Free To Ask An Anonymous Question.

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,

If you have some questions and need some advice, please feel free to send me your questions at,
sashamoniquetalks@gmail.com.  I am not a Doctor so I am unable to give you any medical advice.  I will answer to the best of my ability.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit

Dating is hard, very hard and most women date with the expectation that one day they will find a good man and get married.  Sometimes we come across men who will date you and may even like to be in a relationship but he isn't interested in marriage.  

The man may have all the qualities that you would like your mate to have.  You ask him whether he would like to get married one day and sometimes he will tell you that he would like too many years from now and other times, he will flat out tell you that he cannot see himself ever getting married.  What should you do?

Some of us have been in this situation and I can tell you that a man will give clues about whether he would like to be in a committed relationship or not.  He could be a person who has been single for many years and has never married or a single father who never talks about marriage or talks about it in a negative way. 

 The first thing you should do if you are a person who wants to marry one day is to ask the man and if he says that he doesn't ever want to get married, then you have to respect his wishes but you also must let him know that you would like to be married one day and tell him that you will not be able to pursue this relationship further because you cannot waste your time.

Do not try to get him to change his mind because men usually tell us the truth or show us the truth and we won't accept it because we feel that we can change his mind.  You can never change a man and what you can do is work on yourself and only date men who are equally excited about getting married one day.

If you have been with a man for a few years and he says that he will marry you someday but it is taking years, then you must break off that relationship because you are wasting your time and you could meet a man and he may marry you within a year or two. 

 Stop letting these men set dates and timelines in your life and wasting your time.  You are attractive and you have a lot to offer.  If you are firm in your decision, the right man will come along and be happy to marry you.