Why Is It Okay For Him To Cheat While In Our Marriage But I Cannot?

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Why is it okay for him to cheat while in our marriage but I cannot?

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sashamonique, I have been married for twenty-two years and my husband has been stepping out on me with other women since day one. I told him the other day that I was seeing someone but I want to try to save our marriage, he looked at me and slapped me in the face very hard.

I asked why he was so mad because he has a harem of women he dates and he said “I can do whatever the hell I want to do” he feels like he is a king and every woman should bow down and do everything that he wants them to do. I am tired of this man. The new man isn't any prize either but I feel happy when I am with him. Honestly, he is a womanizer also. Should I make my husband leave so I can be with my new man?

Sashamoniquetalks: That is a long time to be married and going through this sort of thing. Your husband has been taking you for granted and I don't even know why you are still dealing with this. I understand that marriage is not perfect but do we have to suffer in it, no! He wants to do what he wants to do and you should be accepting of his behavior, I think not.

Tell your husband that if he wants this marriage to work he better clean up his act or you are out the door. I am saying you are out the door because it doesn't sound like your husband will be the one leaving.

About this new man, you need to find out why you keep picking men who are not willing to just date you because this is a never-ending pattern of your life. The new man is fun right now because he doesn't have any responsibilities regarding you. Find your happiness elsewhere than with this new man who isn't faithful as well. You deserve better.

She Waited 20 Years And He Still Didn't Marry Her.

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She was young and beautiful, he was the debonair older man and they met at a social event.  They made eye contact and he was hooked and she was too.  

Their relationship started very fast, she was only twenty years old and he was thirty-nine years old and he saw her as the spicy young thing that he had prayed for. 

 Secretly she had always had a thing for older men but she was ashamed to let her friends know. In her mind, she could hear all the laughter that they would make if they only knew.

I am going to call her Diane.  Diane started staying away from her friends and they didn't know why, why because she knew that they would tell her family what she was doing. 

 This man wined and dined her and there was nothing financially off-limits to her.  She saw this as the perfect set-up but what she was soon to find out, her debonair boyfriend had a family, a wife, and four kids.

  Diane found this secret out while looking through her boyfriend's pants pocket and she saw a picture with his cute but older wife and three older kids the last child was only seven years old.

Young, sexy Diane tried to convince herself that she could live with this situation after she confronted her boyfriend and as many years passed she remained complacent in a relationship that was a sinking ship.  

It took five years for the wife to find out what was going on but she decided that she wanted to stay married to her cheating husband.  This man-made so many promises that he was going to leave his wife and marry Diane but it never happened.

  She got so tired of being alone during the holidays and never fully being a part of his life and she spent twenty years of her life trying to please him so that he would see that she was worthy enough to become his wife one day.

This beautiful lady wasted her youth on a good for nothing liar and her beauty started to fade, it faded quickly because this old man stole her youth, he stole her happiness because of his own selfish needs. Guess what?? He doesn't really want Diane anymore but she keeps hanging on because she feels like she cannot do any better. 

 If you are like Diane, really think about this story because being with someone's husband will lead you on a road of lies and destruction.  They always say they will marry you but they won't.

You are worthy of a chance to get married and have the family you have always dreamed of and that will only happen with someone who is single and ready to make a commitment.  Never waste time on a sinking ship!

Learning How To Adjust After Being In A Bad Relationship Isn't Easy.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I don't have any questions to answer today so I decided that I would talk on this subject about "Learning how to adjust after being in a bad relationship.

 At some point in your life, you will be met with a relationship that has never bought you any happiness and also a lot of confusion. Boy, have I been there?  It always starts the same. 

 You meet this person and he is attractive and easy to talk to so you decide to go on a date and the night, is just magical.  He wines and dines you and you two have great conversation and for a few months or more, he is the only man for you until you find out that this man has a lot of secrets.

 He hasn't been open or upfront about "Anything" that he has told you.  You asked him about his family or children and as usual, they never have children or they just have one and then later you will find out that this joker is the father of six children that he is not taking care of.

Sometimes you have invested time with this man and will let it all slide because you feel that you are in love with this man. And that is the wrong thing to do because the lies will continue.  

There are always signs such as; being always on his phone, strange calls in the middle of the night, stories that don't add up and never having any money.

It almost seems like you need a freaking college degree to find out the do's and what you should not be doing while navigating your way in a relationship. I have spoken on numerous occasions about using self-help books to see what you need to change in order to have a successful relationship.

You don't have to take a course regarding this subject unless you want to.  Knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more we know.  Educate yourself on this subject.  Here are some books that may be helpful to you.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How To Have A Successful Social Life: Through Better Communication and Relation
Relationship Workshop: How to have a successful relationship that lasts
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person

He Stayed With The Other Woman On Valentines Day (Update)

Anonymous:  Hello, Sasha.  I have an update on the question that I had on Valentine's Day.  I told you that my husband stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day and I am so happy right now because I told him that I was unhappy in my marriage and he didn't give me the respect or the attention that I needed. 

 I could not take it anymore and I asked him to move out.  I felt sad for about two weeks but Sasha, I am so relieved and I have been going out with my friends and really having a good time.  Wasn't aware of how tied down I was.  

He asked me to let him come back home and he said that he really loves me.  I flat out told his crazy behind that I will never let him come back and I am glad that he is gone. Some other opportunities have opened up for me in my career and I am happy about that.  Ten years is too long to be miserable and I got my life back.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am so surprised to hear back from you. So glad that you took the steps to fix this situation and happiness and contentment is very important.  That is great news about the opportunities that has opened up for you.  You are no longer tied down and you are free to live and be happy. Wishing you the best blessings and please stay in touch with me.

Is She Really His Daughter? (Blind Item)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,

Here is a blind item for you.

There is an entertainer who is known to be in a long marriage and he and his wife live the persona of happiness and fidelity.  They could do no wrong in my eyes; I am a big fan of theirs but, I am sad to report that this man is known for good looks and he has a real "distinctive look".  

I have always heard rumors about him which I will not get into right now.  Has a secret daughter.  Now I don't know if he ever claimed this daughter and I have to add that he is African American and she is supposedly bi-racial although she doesn't appear to be so at all.

She doesn't look like him at all and he has other kids and they look just like him.  This lady is very beautiful and she is over forty-years-old.  She is very poverty stricken and if it is true that she is his daughter, then this is really sad that she has to live this way.  

In all honesty, I believe that this star should take a DNA test because of his "distinctive looks" she should have some identifiable features relating to his.

There are a lot of scammers looking to get the piece of the pie, so to speak.  DNA test was not available when she was born but it can definitely rule out the paternity of this so-called daughter.

If she was found to be his daughter, then she should benefit from her father's fortune.

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out.