My Daughter Is Out Of Control.

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My daughter is out of control!

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sasha, my daughter is fifteen and she is starting to get into trouble and act very wild. I am at my wit's end with this child. She is too big to spank and she knows it and she is sneaking out the house when I go to bed.

 She is not doing anything in school and she was kicked out of regular high school so I got her into an alternative school so she can still get her high school Diploma. She was caught stealing two years ago and she has bought a lot of shame to me. I don't know what to do, Sasha.

Sashamoniquetalks: You said that your daughter is starting to get into trouble, yet you said that she was caught stealing two years ago. It sounds like the problem started two years ago and talk to your daughter very casually to see what occurred.

 You didn't say whether or not her dad is around but it sounds like he isn't because he would be backing you up in this situation. Speak to the Guidance Counselor at her school to see if anything serious is going on at school and also take your daughter for counseling.

 When she sneaks out of the house, call the police so that it can be a record of your daughter doing this so you can protect yourself. Talk to your child's friends parents to see what is really going on. Please let me know what happens regarding this.

Should I Let My Daughter Go To The Movies With Her Friends?

                                                        SashaMoniqueTalks

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha, My daughter wants to go out with friends to the movies and then out to eat.  I trust her friends but their older brother who is 27, like my fifteen-year-old daughter, and she told me she didn't feel comfortable with him in the past.  He makes little comments about her looks and her body shape, he would be the one driving them around.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would not let my daughter go out with friends to the movies when you already know that their brother likes your daughter because his infatuation with your daughter is not appropriate at all.  See if her friend's parents will let you be the chaperone and if not, let your daughter go out with her friends where you have personally met their parents and other family members.  You cannot afford to be too lax when it comes to your children.

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

Grandpa Wasn't Here But Now He's Here.

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He was tall, dark, and handsome.  He had the gift of gab that could curl any girls toes. His wife was kind and gentle.

 He was a father of many but barely around.  His little boys cried every night because he was in and out and more out than in and they felt rejection at every turn.

  A real father he wasn't. One of his kids was very hardworking and his father was too proud to show his child love.  A pat on the back or a gentle hug was badly needed

Years passed and grandchildren were born.  Mr. PaPa was proud and larger than life.  His grandchildren were his world as his son grimaced when PaPa showed the grandchildren love that he didn't have.

   I guess PaPa thought it was a way of making up to his children if he showed the grandchildren love but that child that just wanted his father to pick him up or tell him that he loved him still needed the love and care that was missing.

This is a lesson to anyone.  Love your children because you can never get the precious day's that were stolen from them

.  You cannot love your kids through the grandchildren because this is unfair and a hug and an apology is all that is needed. It is never too late to do better.  Show love and it will be returned a thousand times.

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

You are trying to get pregnant to trap him

Throughout my life, I have known women who meet a man; who is tall dark, and handsome and they make up in their mind that they will get this man and they try to find a way to hold this man down.  

They start manipulating their birth control so they can get pregnant.  Most of these women know that this man does not want any children but they are willing to get pregnant anyway because if they cannot keep him, they will have his baby.

Some of these men have told these women that they better not get pregnant and these women still get pregnant anyway.  I have never seen any of these situations work out because a man should have a right to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. 

 If he is using birth control methods to try to prevent pregnancy and you manipulate his choices, then you will be alone and you will have to live with the decisions that you made.

He Makes A Difference In My Children

Anonymous: Hello, SashaMonique, I have a big problem and I hope you can help me.  I have been married for five years and I have two little girls. 

 One is nine and the other is seven years old.  The seven-year-old is very fond of my husband and he seems to really care about her.  He thinks of her as his daughter.

 The other daughter, he doesn't care for, he said she is fresh and disrespectful.  My daughter does talk back and I spoke to her regarding her attitude.  He doesn't realize, that she is just a little girl and he needs to give her a chance. 

 My ex-husband doesn't spend any time with the girls and this has been very hard on them.  What can I do SashaMonique?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I hope I can help you.  You said that your husband really loves the seven-year-old and he probably thinks of her as a baby. 

 The nine-year-old is having a hard time sharing her family with her step-dad.  Maybe you can talk to him to reach out to get to know her more and do some father-daughter activities and tell your daughter, that she is being disrespectful and that is why the step-dad is avoiding her. 

 It would also be good if you can get in touch with your ex-husband so he can spend time with the girls.  You can also ask a reliable male, family member to act as a mentor or father figure to the girls. 

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out. 

how to prevent child abuse.

How Deal With Being A Step Parent.

Should I Have A Baby At Age 34?

Should I Have A Baby At Age 34?

Anonymous Question;  I had a baby at fourteen years old.  I am now thirty-four years old and my boyfriend wants a baby.  I would like to have another one but I am scared about starting over again at my age.

SashaMoniqueTalks:  Hello there!  I have a very quick answer for you.  These days having a baby isn't a big deal at thirty-four.  You are still young.  If you have the time needed and your finances are together, I don't see no reason why you can't have another child.  You are in fact blessed because your child would have a much older sibling to help out.

SashaMoniqueTalks Should I let my husband stay home with the kids while I work?

Image Courtesy Pixabay
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen:  This is my first post giving advice.  I hope you enjoy it and you can submit questions of your own.,

Anonymous Question:  Sashamoniquetalks  I need some advice because I work in New York City and I bring home a very good income but I get home very late and I am tired of paying nannies to watch my children. 

 I feel that I am losing the connection with my children that I once had.  My kid's ages are 3, 5, and 9.  My husband has a good job but I make a lot more money than he does.  I think it would be a good idea for my husband to stay home while I work.  Please tell me what you think.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  This is a very touchy subject because you forgot to tell me the sex of your children.  I truly feel that if your husband has a good relationship with your children and he is very attentive to their needs, he could surely stay home with your children.

 I would talk to him and see if this is something that he would like to do and be prepared if he doesn't feel comfortable with this arrangement.

 If you have girl children you must teach your husband how to do their hair and help with getting their clothes ready and tending to their hygiene. 

 Also, when a spouse stays home with the children, they sometimes lose important working years on their resume which could create problems if they decide to go back to work in the future.

This could be the perfect set-up if he works part-time from home because he will still be able to receive an income and have work experience just in case he decides at some point to go back to work.

I hope this works out for you because it is a healthier environment for your children and it will make your spouse a better father.