Carefully plan your family ladies!

Carefully plan your family ladies!

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Hello Ladies, I just want to talk to you for a few minutes.  I have watched many videos on YouTube and I am seeing young women with very large families.  Five children or more; some of you married, some not.

I think having babies and a beautiful family is essential, but I am seeing too many young moms with many children.  Ladies, you will have to think about how this will impact your livelihood.

How are you going to truly be successful while trying to raise all these children?

When your kids get older, it takes an astounding amount of money to clothe and feed these kids.  If you want your kids to go to college, it would be very difficult to send them because of the financial strain.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

I am not trying to be mean, but I want to see women be able to have a fulfilling and prosperous life. If you have a large family, I take my hat off to you because it takes a lot to properly maintain a big family.



If you have a husband, what if he leaves you or passes away, what will you do?
You have to carefully take this into consideration.

Many of you who have these big families are not able to work due to your family size, and it puts an added strain on Men to have to work extra jobs to provide for their family, that means that Dad is never home, and when he is, he doesn't have time to deal with the kids.


Image courtesy Pixabay

What if you and your spouse pass away, who do you think is going to raise all these kids?
I am not scolding you but please think about your future and educate yourself.  You are better than just bearing a lot of kids.

You are great, be great Ladies!

Should I Let My Daughter Go To The Movies With Her Friends?

                                                        SashaMoniqueTalks

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha, My daughter wants to go out with friends to the movies and then out to eat.  I trust her friends but their older brother who is 27, like my fifteen-year-old daughter, and she told me she didn't feel comfortable with him in the past.  He makes little comments about her looks and her body shape, he would be the one driving them around.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would not let my daughter go out with friends to the movies when you already know that their brother likes your daughter because his infatuation with your daughter is not appropriate at all.  See if her friend's parents will let you be the chaperone and if not, let your daughter go out with her friends where you have personally met their parents and other family members.  You cannot afford to be too lax when it comes to your children.

You Wanted Me Dead!!!!

                                                        You Wanted Me Dead!

You made your appearance and I thought you were perfect.  Moved very fast to catch my attention but you already had your devious intentions. 

 You played the game so easily to catch me in your web of deception.  You sought me out because you thought I was pliable and could be molded into anything that you wanted.  Never were you concerned about what my dreams were.

Barefoot and pregnant was part of the plan.  You wanted to manipulate me and I walk behind, not thinking that this queen had God by her side.  I questioned him and couldn't find the answer but little that I knew he guided my footsteps. 

 Battered and broken was my name and he took my hand and gave me courage.  Courage to break free of your devilish scheme. Free to live and free to love.

No longer in your prison that you had planned for me. No longer in the grave that you dug for me.  I am free, never to return to you.  You wanted me dead but now you lay in your own coffin.

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

You are trying to get pregnant to trap him

Throughout my life, I have known women who meet a man; who is tall dark, and handsome and they make up in their mind that they will get this man and they try to find a way to hold this man down.  

They start manipulating their birth control so they can get pregnant.  Most of these women know that this man does not want any children but they are willing to get pregnant anyway because if they cannot keep him, they will have his baby.

Some of these men have told these women that they better not get pregnant and these women still get pregnant anyway.  I have never seen any of these situations work out because a man should have a right to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. 

 If he is using birth control methods to try to prevent pregnancy and you manipulate his choices, then you will be alone and you will have to live with the decisions that you made.

Everybody Has Family Rifts But You Can Recover And Move Forward.

Most of us have family rifts and disagreements and sometimes we have problems moving forward.  If the rifts last too long, it can be extremely hard to recover and time can past that none of us can get back. 

 There are times that we let our pride get in the way.  I think the older you get, the more stubborn you get and set in your own ways.  Happiness is within reach if two people can just learn to sit down and talk about the things that went wrong in the relationship.

I have had these situations happen to me as well and it gets very tiring and it kills your spirit.  I believe that therapy is the best way to learn how to communicate in an effective manner.  Some of us don't have the time or our insurance may not cover these therapy sessions.  I know that there are some that have a sliding scale payment and this can make it very affordable. 

 In the meantime, there are ways that you can work on yourself and that is through self-help books.  I am a fan of these kinds of books because you can read them on your own time and you can privately address your personal issues.

I would like to suggest this book if you are interested and you can get it here.  This book is very informative and you will definitely learn better ways of coping and moving forward.

Have You Ever Been In A Bad Relationship But Was Scared To Get Out? SashaMoniqueTalks Breaking Down Barriers

 Hello, everyone.  Have you ever been in love with someone and you just know that you two cannot get along but deep down you really love this person and don't know how to end the relationship?  Well, I have and it is not a place that I would ever like to revisit. 

 I can remember my heart pounding and the tears flowing.  I remember questioning myself and wondering whether it was my fault that the relationship was not working.  Removing myself from this situation was heartbreaking and very hard to do.

This place and space where I was, was not healthy and I knew that I had to make a move to save myself.  Below, you will see some of the steps that I had to take and where I am now, and how my mindset changed.

How I saved my life.

1. Went to the Library and found self-help books to rebuild my self-esteem and to see where I went wrong in the relationship.
2. Learned to love myself and concentrate on all of my needs.
3. I decided that I would not concentrate on looks when looking for a mate and to see what was in the man's heart and that he was genuinely in love with me instead of in lust with me. lol
4. I sincerely prayed for God's guidance and instruction on how to move forward in a positive way.
5. I made the decision not to date for a while and learn to be happy as a single woman.
6. I kept myself so busy, so I didn't feel like I was missing something.
7. Bought me some special gifts for Valentine's Day to celebrate, me.
8. Started a few hobbies that help to keep my mind off, love and relationships.
9. Went to some events alone and still had a wonderful time.
10. Learned how to have friendships with men, without having the pressure of dating.

I have decided that having a relationship doesn't define who I am.  I am wonderful and fabulous, just the way I am, and really glad that I don't have all the drama that was in my life. 

 Trusting your intuition is a way to avoid getting yourself into dangerous and non-productive situations.  You have to realize what all the red flags are and learn to avoid them at all costs.

When you have high self-worth; Men who would ordinarily talk to you will pass you by and that will make room for men of quality to come into your life.

You deserve a life with a man who will celebrate you and who will add to your life in a positive manner.  Life is short; please do not settle for a man who is unstable because you will be miserable.

The Single Women's Prayer

First of all, being single is a time to enjoy yourself and find out who you really are but there is a time when a woman will get that feeling that it is time for her to get ready for marriage. 

 Marriage is wonderful if it is, shared with the right person and it was ordained by our creator. So below is a prayer that some of us single women have.

                                  The Single Women's Prayer

Dear Lord, please let me enjoy my single days and take advantage of the peace and the blessings that you gave for me to partake of quiet nights without someone snoring and hogging all the covers on the bed. 

 Thank you for the days of just jumping up and deciding at the last minute that I want to go out with family and friends and I don't have to let anyone know when I am coming back.  The Dog is by the door when I come in and happy to see me and I don't have to listen to any complaints or questions, Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you for giving me women's intuition when that fine chocolate man wanted to get my number and you softly whispered into my ear and told me, "No my daughter, he will break your heart and, he is married."  I appreciate the people that you put into my life when I needed to vent and cry about my singleness.

Lord, you protected me while I was alone and scared and you put a hedge of protection around me and my dwelling. but, Lord, now I am ready, my heart is open and willing to trust you to find the man who is willing to come together and share in the blessings that only you can give and make him a man who is after your heart dear Lord, and please make me into the beautiful wife who is patient and understanding because no man is perfect.

I promise to work on any issues that I may have and when you find him, please, whisper into my ear and let me know that he is the one chosen by you.  We will work together and grow old and I will remind my children about this prayer and teach, my daughters what prayer can do.  Thank you, Lord.