Why Are You Willing To Be His Side Chick?

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I hear women all the time bragging about taking someone's husband or being in a relationship with a man who has numerous women.  I really had to think and see what they are getting out of this kind of relationship.

 Some women have even said that they don't want to be with the man all the time so they choose this kind of relationship because it is flexible; when they don't want to be bothered they know he will go to his wife or the other side chick.

  There are a lot of women going with older men to get them to finance their lifestyle and they really are not attracted to this person but they are in it to get what they get.

What You Don't Realize

This man is using you for sex and sometimes for your money, he just wants you around to stroke his ego and when he is tired of dealing with you, he will go to his other woman or his wife, you are just a temporary fix for his sexual appetite.

He complains about his wife, but he is not making a move to leave her because it is obvious, that he really loves her but he is no good and he really doesn't want to ruin their relationship.

He has kids with numerous women and you don't require much because you know as his side chick you are not going to receive much from him because he is paying a lot of child support or he is ducking the mothers to avoid paying child support.

This jerk is using you as a shoulder to cry on when things are not good at home and you let him come and stay with you a few days and then he is back home with the so-called miserable wife that he is so unhappy with.

A lot of times he doesn't want to be seen out with you because he is dating so many women.

This guy is in and out of jail and he needs you to be his support system when he gets out of jail.  He doesn't care anything about you, you are just a safety net.


You Are Worth More Than This Ladies!

When you are dating a new man, try to see where he is living and who he is living with and ask questions because sometimes a man will tell you directly where he is coming from but there are others that will lie constantly.

 If you catch this man in a bunch of lies when you are first dating, the lies will only get worse and you will find yourself in a relationship that is difficult and it will not lead to anything worthwhile.

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship

                          Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship


Changing your mindset isn't easy because sometimes you are not aware of different things and attitudes you need to change to have success in your relationship.

Relationship Killers:  Jealousy, causing arguments, being a know-it, and giving up too easily.
I have exhibited some of these traits myself because of past hurts and disappointments and it can become as toxic as a Cancer. 

 Learning how to change and work on yourself is the best prescription for this kind of behavior.

There is give and take in a relationship and if no one is not listening or willing to work on your relationship, then, it is dead.

Relationship pointers:  We all have intuition and a lot of times we are correct about the things that we are feeling but what if you didn't judge a person correctly and you are wrong, then you will throw a relationship away without really finding out the truth.  

If you need answers from your spouse or the person you are dating, just ask the question instead of beating around the bush.

Put into your relationship what you want to get out of it.  Show love to get equal love in return. Forgive mistakes if they are minor because you will make mistakes also and you may need someone to forgive you as well.

Try not to look into your spouse's phone because most of the time you will find trouble if you are looking for it.
Do not be a fool in your relationship but try to be a calm and peaceful person so you can enjoy yourself with your mate.

Find happiness in yourself so that you can make your spouse happy too.

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

It depends if you had a terrible breakup where you could not talk to this person and they have done very bad things to you in the past.  You must take into account all the things that led up to your breakup. 

 If there was any kind of abuse I would say "Don't Do It!"  You will cause yourself so much pain and suffering.

If this man is in a relationship at the moment, I would tell you to leave him alone because you do not need the drama that will ensue from calling or texting this Man. 

 I have stayed friends with people I was dating in the past because maybe it wasn't such a bad breakup or we have more things in common as friends.

If you can talk to this person and don't have any romantic feelings for this Man, you can chat with him and sometimes go out to the movies and etc.  Do not sleep with this man because you do not want to stir up old feelings that are meant to stay buried.

Be honest with yourself and if you enjoy talking to this person, stay friends.  He may even be able to introduce you to a nice person you can date.

Have You Ever Been In A Bad Relationship But Was Scared To Get Out? SashaMoniqueTalks Breaking Down Barriers

 Hello, everyone.  Have you ever been in love with someone and you just know that you two cannot get along but deep down you really love this person and don't know how to end the relationship?  Well, I have and it is not a place that I would ever like to revisit. 

 I can remember my heart pounding and the tears flowing.  I remember questioning myself and wondering whether it was my fault that the relationship was not working.  Removing myself from this situation was heartbreaking and very hard to do.

This place and space where I was, was not healthy and I knew that I had to make a move to save myself.  Below, you will see some of the steps that I had to take and where I am now, and how my mindset changed.

How I saved my life.

1. Went to the Library and found self-help books to rebuild my self-esteem and to see where I went wrong in the relationship.
2. Learned to love myself and concentrate on all of my needs.
3. I decided that I would not concentrate on looks when looking for a mate and to see what was in the man's heart and that he was genuinely in love with me instead of in lust with me. lol
4. I sincerely prayed for God's guidance and instruction on how to move forward in a positive way.
5. I made the decision not to date for a while and learn to be happy as a single woman.
6. I kept myself so busy, so I didn't feel like I was missing something.
7. Bought me some special gifts for Valentine's Day to celebrate, me.
8. Started a few hobbies that help to keep my mind off, love and relationships.
9. Went to some events alone and still had a wonderful time.
10. Learned how to have friendships with men, without having the pressure of dating.

I have decided that having a relationship doesn't define who I am.  I am wonderful and fabulous, just the way I am, and really glad that I don't have all the drama that was in my life. 

 Trusting your intuition is a way to avoid getting yourself into dangerous and non-productive situations.  You have to realize what all the red flags are and learn to avoid them at all costs.

When you have high self-worth; Men who would ordinarily talk to you will pass you by and that will make room for men of quality to come into your life.

You deserve a life with a man who will celebrate you and who will add to your life in a positive manner.  Life is short; please do not settle for a man who is unstable because you will be miserable.

MegaStar After Someone I Am Close To. (Blind Item)

Hello, you all.  I have a blind item, just for you.
There is a young Megastar who has the hots for someone that I am close to. 

 This entertainer is known to chat back and forth with this person and "begging for a date."  Did I say "begging for a date"  He is so desperate for attention and he has been at this for about four years.  I was shown the proof.  He is worth many, many millions.

Of course, I cannot tell you who this person is, but it is very easy to figure out who I am talking about.  Twitter is his best friend and some other social media outlets.  His best friend is (Christian) lol

I don't want to go to the Christmas party because I don't have a date.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha:  I have a Christmas party to attend but I don't feel comfortable going because I don't have a date.  All the women at my job are married or in a relationship.  I don't know what to do but cancel or not show up.

Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello:  I think that you should absolutely go to the party even though you don't have a date.  You may meet a nice gentleman  or I am sure that you will see other women by themselves.  You could even ask a male friend of yours to go or take your best girlfriend. Don't let not having a man stop you from enjoying life.  

Signs My Boyfriend Doesn't love Me!

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We have all dated and experienced breakups and it is never easy.  Below,  you will see some of the signs.  There are always signs but we may not recognize them.

1. He never takes me out.
2. I have never met his family or friends.
3. He calls me his friend.
4. He never buys me anything.
5. He hits me.
6. He lies to me constantly.
7. He only sees me on certain days.
8. Tells me, I am ugly.
9. He dates other people.
10. Steals from me.
11. Get another woman pregnant.
12. Makes fun of me.
13. Uses me for sex.
14. Brings another woman to my house.
15. He's married.
16. Makes me buy him things.
17. Keeps breaking up with me.
18. Not willing to marry me.
19. Hates my children.
20. Tells me he hates me and my family.

If you have answered yes to any of these answers you may be involved with a man who doesn't love or respect you.  You cannot change him and what you see is what you get.  Do not be a slave to love because you will be the one who is hurt.  Men tend to respect women who respect themselves.  

He Is So Boring; Should I Stay With Him?

Anonymous Question,  Sashamoniquetalks, I have been in a relationship with a man for three years.  We get along fine but the problem is, I am so bored with him. 

 This man just wants to come home from work, eat and then go to bed.  I need some conversation and some affection,  This man used to be fun to be around but it is like he is sleeping his life away.  I love him but I am thinking of getting out of this relationship.  What should I do?

Sashamoniquetalks, You said that you have been in a relationship with him for three years and he was fun to be around before.  Did he start a new job or did something else change in the relationship? 

 I actually needed more details but I will tell you this much If he did change jobs or have a long commute to and from work it could be wearing on him physically.  He might really be tired.

Talk to him and see whether or not something is going on with his health because it could be.  You said that you get along fine.  The truth is, no relationship is going to be perfect. 

 If this man is supportive of you and loves you, you will have to find ways to make this relationship satisfying. Tell him how you are feeling and maybe you will need to go out with family or friends to fill this void.

If I was you, I would stay with him because it really could be worse!

The Single Women's Prayer

First of all, being single is a time to enjoy yourself and find out who you really are but there is a time when a woman will get that feeling that it is time for her to get ready for marriage. 

 Marriage is wonderful if it is, shared with the right person and it was ordained by our creator. So below is a prayer that some of us single women have.

                                  The Single Women's Prayer

Dear Lord, please let me enjoy my single days and take advantage of the peace and the blessings that you gave for me to partake of quiet nights without someone snoring and hogging all the covers on the bed. 

 Thank you for the days of just jumping up and deciding at the last minute that I want to go out with family and friends and I don't have to let anyone know when I am coming back.  The Dog is by the door when I come in and happy to see me and I don't have to listen to any complaints or questions, Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you for giving me women's intuition when that fine chocolate man wanted to get my number and you softly whispered into my ear and told me, "No my daughter, he will break your heart and, he is married."  I appreciate the people that you put into my life when I needed to vent and cry about my singleness.

Lord, you protected me while I was alone and scared and you put a hedge of protection around me and my dwelling. but, Lord, now I am ready, my heart is open and willing to trust you to find the man who is willing to come together and share in the blessings that only you can give and make him a man who is after your heart dear Lord, and please make me into the beautiful wife who is patient and understanding because no man is perfect.

I promise to work on any issues that I may have and when you find him, please, whisper into my ear and let me know that he is the one chosen by you.  We will work together and grow old and I will remind my children about this prayer and teach, my daughters what prayer can do.  Thank you, Lord.

Should I Marry My Boyfriend I Met Online?

Should I Marry My Boyfriend I Met Online?



Anonymous Question:  I met a man online and we just clicked immediately.  We have been chatting for 4 months.   This is a long-distance relationship.  He asked me to marry him last night.  The problem is, we never met in person.  I want to marry him.  What should I do?



SashaMoniqueTalks:   A lot of men who date online are not really serious about relationships.  Why hasn't he come to see you?  Is this man really the person he's portraying online?  It is only 4 months, what is the rush?

I would contact one of those online companies that do background checks and I would pay to do a background check on him to see what comes up.  If everything comes back in a positive light, I would arrange for him to meet me and see where the relationship goes from there.

I would wait a year before deciding to marry him.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit.

How To Deal With A Man Who Will Not Commit

Dating is hard, very hard and most women date with the expectation that one day they will find a good man and get married.  Sometimes we come across men who will date you and may even like to be in a relationship but he isn't interested in marriage.  

The man may have all the qualities that you would like your mate to have.  You ask him whether he would like to get married one day and sometimes he will tell you that he would like too many years from now and other times, he will flat out tell you that he cannot see himself ever getting married.  What should you do?

Some of us have been in this situation and I can tell you that a man will give clues about whether he would like to be in a committed relationship or not.  He could be a person who has been single for many years and has never married or a single father who never talks about marriage or talks about it in a negative way. 

 The first thing you should do if you are a person who wants to marry one day is to ask the man and if he says that he doesn't ever want to get married, then you have to respect his wishes but you also must let him know that you would like to be married one day and tell him that you will not be able to pursue this relationship further because you cannot waste your time.

Do not try to get him to change his mind because men usually tell us the truth or show us the truth and we won't accept it because we feel that we can change his mind.  You can never change a man and what you can do is work on yourself and only date men who are equally excited about getting married one day.

If you have been with a man for a few years and he says that he will marry you someday but it is taking years, then you must break off that relationship because you are wasting your time and you could meet a man and he may marry you within a year or two. 

 Stop letting these men set dates and timelines in your life and wasting your time.  You are attractive and you have a lot to offer.  If you are firm in your decision, the right man will come along and be happy to marry you.  

My Boyfriend is sixteen years older than me.

Anonymous Question:  Hello SashaMonique,  I just turned 27 years old and I have been married but it didn't work out.  I started dating a man who is 16 years older than me and I am not really attracted to this man but he treats me well. 

I have been through a lot in my life so I decided that I will make myself happy with the person who is interested in making me happy. 

 I forgot to add that I have a five-year-old daughter by my ex.  My parents do not know yet about this man but I will tell them soon.  I live on my own so I feel that this is okay.  What are your thoughts regarding this situation?


SashaMoniqueTalks:  This is a good question.  Did you try dating men in your own age bracket before dating this man?  You stated that you have been married and it didn't work out and I think this is the reason you have decided on dating this older man. 

 Honestly, I feel that if you are happy, keep dating him and see where the relationship goes. The problem with dating someone older, you will not have a lot in common with a forty-three-year-old and the relationship will get stale very fast. 

 You said that you are not attracted to this man and you didn't say why but this could be a problem. There are older men who are dogs too so you still have to be careful.  Tell your parents, they will probably be upset but it is your life and you are grown.

Marrying Or Dating A Stalker And An Obsessive Compulsive Man

Ladies; Please watch this video and heed the signs and the information given.  You do not have to be a victim and a punching bag.  Love doesn't hurt!  

Protect yourself and your children and do not let a man use and abuse you.  Your children are better off without living their lives in fear.    If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage it will not get any better. You can call the Domestic Violence Hotline and be on your way to a better life.  

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

To get help online go to:
http://www.thehotline.org/

Is My Boyfriend Married?

I think this was some very good advice.  Check out a person when you start a new relationship because you can save yourself a lot of heartaches.