Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship

                          Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship


Changing your mindset isn't easy because sometimes you are not aware of different things and attitudes you need to change to have success in your relationship.

Relationship Killers:  Jealousy, causing arguments, being a know-it, and giving up too easily.
I have exhibited some of these traits myself because of past hurts and disappointments and it can become as toxic as a Cancer. 

 Learning how to change and work on yourself is the best prescription for this kind of behavior.

There is give and take in a relationship and if no one is not listening or willing to work on your relationship, then, it is dead.

Relationship pointers:  We all have intuition and a lot of times we are correct about the things that we are feeling but what if you didn't judge a person correctly and you are wrong, then you will throw a relationship away without really finding out the truth.  

If you need answers from your spouse or the person you are dating, just ask the question instead of beating around the bush.

Put into your relationship what you want to get out of it.  Show love to get equal love in return. Forgive mistakes if they are minor because you will make mistakes also and you may need someone to forgive you as well.

Try not to look into your spouse's phone because most of the time you will find trouble if you are looking for it.
Do not be a fool in your relationship but try to be a calm and peaceful person so you can enjoy yourself with your mate.

Find happiness in yourself so that you can make your spouse happy too.

I Am Dating A Man My Family Thinks Is Beneath Me Financially.

Anonymous Question:  Hi Sashamoniquetalks;  I have been dating a man for eight months and we get along very well but he isn't doing well financially.

  He is four years older than I am but he had a lot of setbacks and I make a lot more money than he does.  This man is really generous with the money that he has but my family thinks he is beneath me.

  Sometimes I feel they are right but they don't know how wonderful he is to me I am trying to have an open mind but should I give this man up for a man with more money?



Sashamoniquetalks:  You told me what job you are in and I will not include it here but you are making so much more than he is.  My question to you is; Is he a hard-working man?  

Does he have your back?  You said that he is very generous with the money that he has and that is very important.

 If this man is willing to better himself and he treats you well, I would tell you to stay with him.  Everybody doesn't have the same opportunities in life and if he is a man who isn't trying to use you for your money I say that there is a chance that this relationship will work out.

  You have only been seeing him for eight months and I say that after a year or more you can see where this relationship is headed.  Your family loves you so they are concerned but take your time and enjoy this relationship and if he continues to treat you well, he may be a man you can have a future with.

Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

                                         Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

Gentlemen, I wanted to touch on this subject because the holidays are upon us and it can be a very sad time for many men who don't have family or family they have given up. You may have had a relationship with a woman and things didn't go as planned and you have a child or children together. You may not get along with the mother or you are restricted from seeing your children but it is not an excuse to abandon your child.

We have Skype and Facetime and it makes it easier than ever to communicate with your children on a regular basis. If you are incarcerated, you can write your children letters to keep the parental relationship going. Please do not abandon your children over things the other parent is doing or not doing.

Many children of separation or Divorce are broken.  They are broken because they are silent victims of the decisions that their mother or father made. 

 I am a child of Divorce and let me tell you, I was sad most of my life because of it.  I don't blame my parents because sometimes things happen in a marriage that cannot be repaired.  One good thing, my father stayed in my life and refused to spend his life without us and it did make a difference in my life.

If you haven't seen your kids for a very long time, you can believe that one day your child will come looking for you. I think that it is never too late to reconnect with your children and if they find you, please do not reject your children. 

Life is short and you do not know why this child is looking for you.  They may be saying goodbye because of an illness or the other parent could be dying.  Give your kids a chance because they are here because of your choices.  

Be civil to your child's mom, so you can have a great relationship with your kids.  Help the mother financially to take care of your children and if you are out of work or on low-income support the other parent by babysitting the kids and picking them up from school. 

 This would help so much. There are so many things you can do to help the mother of your children and it doesn't involve a lot of money.

I hope that this post is helpful to you and if you would like to add anything, please leave a comment.

I Really Don't Want To Be Around Some Family Members This Year.

Anonymous Question:  Hi, Sasha, I am supposed to go to a get-together with family members in a couple of weeks but there are some people who are coming and I really don't enjoy their company. 

 One person is very loud and I cannot stand being around this person.  Another one is a drama queen and she always wants attention so she starts trouble at every dinner.  I told some of my family members that I would never go to anything that they are giving.

  My mother told me that she wants me to go and I feel obligated. I don't want to upset my mother.  What should I do?

Sashamoniquetalks, This is a tough question.  You could just stay home but it might be nice if you just go and stay about an hour or so and then leave. 

 You may even find that this year may be different and you might want to stay longer.  The truth is, families are getting smaller and smaller due to family members dying or they live in another part of the country. If you go, just be friendly to everyone and then prepare your exit.

How Deal With Being A Step Parent.

My Boyfriend is sixteen years older than me.

Anonymous Question:  Hello SashaMonique,  I just turned 27 years old and I have been married but it didn't work out.  I started dating a man who is 16 years older than me and I am not really attracted to this man but he treats me well. 

I have been through a lot in my life so I decided that I will make myself happy with the person who is interested in making me happy. 

 I forgot to add that I have a five-year-old daughter by my ex.  My parents do not know yet about this man but I will tell them soon.  I live on my own so I feel that this is okay.  What are your thoughts regarding this situation?


SashaMoniqueTalks:  This is a good question.  Did you try dating men in your own age bracket before dating this man?  You stated that you have been married and it didn't work out and I think this is the reason you have decided on dating this older man. 

 Honestly, I feel that if you are happy, keep dating him and see where the relationship goes. The problem with dating someone older, you will not have a lot in common with a forty-three-year-old and the relationship will get stale very fast. 

 You said that you are not attracted to this man and you didn't say why but this could be a problem. There are older men who are dogs too so you still have to be careful.  Tell your parents, they will probably be upset but it is your life and you are grown.