Why Is It Okay For Him To Cheat While In Our Marriage But I Cannot?

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Why is it okay for him to cheat while in our marriage but I cannot?

Anonymous Question: Hello, Sashamonique, I have been married for twenty-two years and my husband has been stepping out on me with other women since day one. I told him the other day that I was seeing someone but I want to try to save our marriage, he looked at me and slapped me in the face very hard.

I asked why he was so mad because he has a harem of women he dates and he said “I can do whatever the hell I want to do” he feels like he is a king and every woman should bow down and do everything that he wants them to do. I am tired of this man. The new man isn't any prize either but I feel happy when I am with him. Honestly, he is a womanizer also. Should I make my husband leave so I can be with my new man?

Sashamoniquetalks: That is a long time to be married and going through this sort of thing. Your husband has been taking you for granted and I don't even know why you are still dealing with this. I understand that marriage is not perfect but do we have to suffer in it, no! He wants to do what he wants to do and you should be accepting of his behavior, I think not.

Tell your husband that if he wants this marriage to work he better clean up his act or you are out the door. I am saying you are out the door because it doesn't sound like your husband will be the one leaving.

About this new man, you need to find out why you keep picking men who are not willing to just date you because this is a never-ending pattern of your life. The new man is fun right now because he doesn't have any responsibilities regarding you. Find your happiness elsewhere than with this new man who isn't faithful as well. You deserve better.

Where Do I Fit In The Dating World As An Older Woman?

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Anonymous Question: SashaMonique I am 45 years old and although I take good care of myself, I watch my weight and I dress very fashionable.  I have been told that I look very young for my age and I am not tooting my own horn, but I am very attractive.

 I want to know, where do I fit, in the dating world as an older woman?  I have been single for about 2 years and would like to be in a long-term relationship.  Have gone on a few dates and I am not attracting the type of man I would like in my life.  I have 2 kids and they both are grown and I just want to be in love once again.  

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am glad that you contacted me because I truly understand your situation because I am an older woman and I have to say that dating is very difficult at this age because a lot of men want to date a young woman.  

There are some men who would love a more mature woman and you would have to go to some events where good, quality men are.  Finding love is never impossible and you didn't say what your hobbies are but find an event where it has men who have the same interest that you have, this could be outings to the movie theater and there are some websites geared to group outings that would make meeting men safer.

  Some years ago I went to an event on a ship and I found it very easy to strike up a conversation and meet single men and there wasn't a lot of pressure on either party. If you are meeting men that you are not attracted to, do not give them your number.

 See if any of your family members have friends that you can be introduced to.  Find out about outings your local church may be going on and go and enjoy yourself.  It is not too late, all you have to do is weed out the undesirables.

I Am Secretly Getting Married Next Week.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  I am getting married next week and I haven't told my family and my fiance hasn't told anyone in his family.

  I do not have a great relationship with my mom and dad because they never acted like they cared anything about me.  I feel invisible in my family.

 My sisters are in their own little world and they really could care less.  We are going to Las Vegas and we are talking about moving to Philadelphia.  Right now, I live in Chicago and there are not a whole lot of jobs here.  I  have been looking to make a new start.  I need your advice.


Sashamoniquetalks:  First, I want to say that I am happy for you but I think that you should give your mom and dad a chance to see you get married.

  At least talk to them about it.  You didn't tell me your age but If you are eighteen and over, you have the right to get married if you want to, but the negative energy that will occur if you do not give your family a chance to see you married would be long-lasting.

  You sound like you made up your mind and I wish you well in your marriage.

I Want To Get Married And I Want A Beautiful Ring!

Hello, Ladies. I had a conversation a few years ago with an acquaintance of mine and I am sure that she is okay with me sharing this.  She is forty plus and she has never been married.  She is a wonderful, God-fearing, and respectable lady, and she would be the perfect catch for any man.  She has dated some men and she knows exactly what she wants.

She asked me why I wear rings and who bought them and I told her that some were bought by other people and some were bought by me.  She then asked me why I would buy my own and I told her that, at my age, I cannot wait for someone to give me the gifts that I can give myself.

I have been married, so I was quite alarmed that she even asked me this question but I know that she was just asking a question.  She then said that she was waiting for the big, beautiful, diamond ring that would come when the right guy finds her and asked for her hand in marriage.

She then asked me why I don't just wear the rings on my right hand and I told her that, at my age, it doesn't really matter what hand I used to display my rings.

I am going to keep it real here and say that a lot of us are waiting for a dream that may not come true.
If you are forty years old and over, you should just buy the beautiful things that you want to wear and that fantastic diamond ring that you love and enjoy it.  The man of your dreams will still come if it is meant to be, even if you are wearing diamonds.

Some of us ladies are separated or divorced and we may not even be looking for another relationship but I want you ladies to keep looking good for yourself and spoil yourself if it is within your means.

A statement ring, bracelet, or necklace doesn't have to be expensive.  Never put your happiness on hold because you are waiting for love.  Live now, because tomorrow isn't promised.

Put some money aside and buy that big beautiful ring that you want and wear it with pride.  Love yourself because nobody is going to love you more.

She is asking for a Divorce but I don't want one.

Anonymous Question:  I got married very young to this beautiful lady and we have been married six years.  I am very attracted to her and she is in great shape.  The problem is, that we have one child together but I have put her down many times and made fun of her about her looks.

 She looks fine but I am really jealous of her and very insecure with myself. I have slapped her on many occasions and I refuse to let her go out with her friends because I am scared she will find someone else. 

 She has filed for a Divorce but I do not want one and I am willing to change my way's.  I forgot to add that I have two kids from another relationship while married to her.  How can I get my beautiful wife back?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  You said that you got married very young and you do not want a Divorce but honestly, you did not give your wife the love and respect that she deserves.  I believe that you love her but the way you showed it, confused her.

 What you can do is call her and tell her all the things that you told me and give her space and time to see if she still want to work on her marriage.  You made a mistake by hitting her and I wouldn't suggest that any woman stays with a man who hits her. 

 You prevented her from going out with her friends while you went out and had two kids on her.  If you two get back together,  you must give her space and a chance to enjoy her life and plan some wonderful things that you know she would like.  Make her happy and never treat her like this again.  If you are truly sorry, you may get her back.

He stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha, I have been with my husband for ten years and he only spent two Valentine's Day with me since we have been married.  He spends all his time with his other woman and he leaves and stays a few days.  He likes to start an argument every time he leaves, what can I do?


Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello, this a very sad situation.  Your husband is showing some signs that he doesn't respect you or your feelings.  I am sure that he loves you but he wants his cake and eat it too. You need to have a serious talk with him about your future and if he won't talk, you may need to text him or write him a letter.
You have been married a long time and you don't deserve this treatment.  I am not going to tell you to leave your husband but take this time to work on you and make yourself happy. When working on yourself you will find the right answer that you have been seeking and he will see a new change in you.

Please let me know how this situation turns out.

Should I Marry My Boyfriend I Met Online?

Should I Marry My Boyfriend I Met Online?



Anonymous Question:  I met a man online and we just clicked immediately.  We have been chatting for 4 months.   This is a long-distance relationship.  He asked me to marry him last night.  The problem is, we never met in person.  I want to marry him.  What should I do?



SashaMoniqueTalks:   A lot of men who date online are not really serious about relationships.  Why hasn't he come to see you?  Is this man really the person he's portraying online?  It is only 4 months, what is the rush?

I would contact one of those online companies that do background checks and I would pay to do a background check on him to see what comes up.  If everything comes back in a positive light, I would arrange for him to meet me and see where the relationship goes from there.

I would wait a year before deciding to marry him.

Some bad boy's do get married.

I just ran across this video of Ray J  and Princess Love's wedding dance.  For many years it seemed like he couldn't be faithful and I wonder if Whitney Houston had lived, would they be married.  A man will never be perfect just like we aren't. We have to see what is in a man's heart and soul and if he is coming from a good place then you may have found your soul mate

Marrying Or Dating A Stalker And An Obsessive Compulsive Man

Ladies; Please watch this video and heed the signs and the information given.  You do not have to be a victim and a punching bag.  Love doesn't hurt!  

Protect yourself and your children and do not let a man use and abuse you.  Your children are better off without living their lives in fear.    If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage it will not get any better. You can call the Domestic Violence Hotline and be on your way to a better life.  

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

To get help online go to:
http://www.thehotline.org/

Is My Boyfriend Married?

I think this was some very good advice.  Check out a person when you start a new relationship because you can save yourself a lot of heartaches.