Are You Ready To Date A Man With Six Kids By Six Different Women?

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Today I was having a conversation with someone and they asked me whether or not I would date a man with six kids by six different women.  Right away I said no but this may not apply to all people.

I am a mother of one, so I cannot even fathom that I could date anyone with three or more kids.  Six kids are a lot but there are some single moms or mothers who have lost a spouse and they have four or more kids themselves.  

They always wanted a big family but they have become a single mom not by choice but things that happened in their life that made them a single mom.

I started to think out of the box and realized that maybe this could work if this man is serious about spending his life with this woman, and they will raise all of their kids together.

If this man is supporting all of his children financially and emotionally, this could be a relationship that could actually work.

I would not suggest that a single woman without any children put herself in this situation because she would have to deal with multiple moms and this could be one, big, headache.

I advise all women to read self-help books and talk to experienced counselors to get a clearer perspective on relationships to avoid pitfalls and red flags in relationships.  

Most women should not put themselves in this kind of arrangement but should a mother who has multiple kids not have a chance for a relationship because she has a lot of kids.  No, but honestly, the chances are very low that a man will want to take on the challenge of living with or marrying a woman with a lot of kids.

I have seen and heard of cases where some men without children have done this, but it isn't a normal scenario.

Sometimes people find themselves at a time in their life when they will start to settle down, and they have made some mistakes in their life, but now they are changing for the better.  

In a scenario like this, counseling would really be advisable to see if each person is ready to undertake a relationship that could be stressful with so many kids in the picture.

But if they always wanted a big family, this could be a relationship that could work.

Love is gone so what am I going to do?

Love is gone so what am I going to do?


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

It is not easy going through a breakup.  Spending time alone is rough unless you are a loner.  Finding new things to do and places to go alone can be so hard.

I have personally decided that I will remain alone for a while and concentrate on health and work on my career.  I am a  loner at heart and I personally enjoy my own company.

We have all these dating apps and websites and finding love is harder than ever.  Being alone is the best time to nurture all the things that you let go of when you were in a relationship.

I have decided to let love go but you don't have to, get yourself ready for new love and another adventure but take the time to find out exactly what you want in your relationship and some of the things that you would like to work on in your life to prevent another breakup.

Knowledge is power and although we cannot prevent some things that contribute to a breakup and a divorce, you can get to know yourself and what you will and will not put up with.  Maybe you will learn to be happy with your journey in life.

Taking trips and making plans are definite ways to get over your failed relationship.  Life is not over!
Find outings that are geared towards single folks, not to find another lover but to find new friends who know where all the hip and happening places are.

If you have let yourself go, now is the time to step up on your hygiene and fashion game.  Be you and be fabulous in your own right.

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

Image Courtesy Pixabay
Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

Learning How To Adjust After Being In A Bad Relationship Isn't Easy.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I don't have any questions to answer today so I decided that I would talk on this subject about "Learning how to adjust after being in a bad relationship.

 At some point in your life, you will be met with a relationship that has never bought you any happiness and also a lot of confusion. Boy, have I been there?  It always starts the same. 

 You meet this person and he is attractive and easy to talk to so you decide to go on a date and the night, is just magical.  He wines and dines you and you two have great conversation and for a few months or more, he is the only man for you until you find out that this man has a lot of secrets.

 He hasn't been open or upfront about "Anything" that he has told you.  You asked him about his family or children and as usual, they never have children or they just have one and then later you will find out that this joker is the father of six children that he is not taking care of.

Sometimes you have invested time with this man and will let it all slide because you feel that you are in love with this man. And that is the wrong thing to do because the lies will continue.  

There are always signs such as; being always on his phone, strange calls in the middle of the night, stories that don't add up and never having any money.

It almost seems like you need a freaking college degree to find out the do's and what you should not be doing while navigating your way in a relationship. I have spoken on numerous occasions about using self-help books to see what you need to change in order to have a successful relationship.

You don't have to take a course regarding this subject unless you want to.  Knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more we know.  Educate yourself on this subject.  Here are some books that may be helpful to you.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How To Have A Successful Social Life: Through Better Communication and Relation
Relationship Workshop: How to have a successful relationship that lasts
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person

He Was Prince Charming, But, I Didn't Know It! (Story Time)

                                  He Was Prince Charming, But I Didn't Know It!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is a storytime for you; from time to time you will find out more about me.

I was a young lady and after going through a terrible breakup, I ran into this man and when I first saw him, I was not attracted to him.  He kept gazing into my eyes and I said to myself " He is weird as heck."  I loved tall, dark, and handsome men and he was only tall. lol. 

 We became friends and I was purchasing a table set from one of his friends; I was in the basement looking at the set and some other items and I heard him tell his friend "  I love her man.  If she let me, I will treat her like a queen."  I had only known this man for two and a half weeks.

I came upstairs and his friend was looking at me weirdly because he could tell I knew what my friend said.  Acting like I didn't hear anything, he put the table in his car, and on the way taking me home he said, " I know you heard what I said but I really mean it." I told him it didn't make sense and I wasn't looking for a relationship. 

 He said, "Please give me a chance" I know that you have been through a lot and I promise that I will not let you down if you  just love me for who I am."  We stayed friends and two months later we started seeing each other. 

 Honestly, I still wasn't interested in him.  He would take me out to eat and also come to my house and cook breakfast or dinner for me he would buy me nice things; mind you, he wasn't a wealthy man.

This man was so sweet to me and I wasn't used to that. He showed me plenty of attention and affection.  He acted like Prince Charming but he didn't look like it.  We spent many years in our relationship. 

 We broke up but we still remained friends.  What I want you all to know is, looks aren't everything.  Share your life with someone who truly loves you and who will put you first. 

If you are broken from a failed relationship or marriage, please get some help for the issues you have so you can find happiness and love. Don't block your blessings!

That man you feel nobody wants may be the man who will hold your heart carefully in his hand and will never disappoint you. 

 He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish him nothing but much love and happiness in his life.  Sometimes you will only get this opportunity once in a lifetime but if it ever comes my way again, I will never let it go.

Update:  As of October 2021, this man passed away.  This is a lesson not only to me but to others.  Don't let true love pass you by because life is short. Don't ever take love for granted because you will always carry a permanent pain in your heart for the person who loved you but you weren't ready for it.

He was Prince Charming, but I didn't know it.

Have You Ever Been In A Bad Relationship But Was Scared To Get Out? SashaMoniqueTalks Breaking Down Barriers

 Hello, everyone.  Have you ever been in love with someone and you just know that you two cannot get along but deep down you really love this person and don't know how to end the relationship?  Well, I have and it is not a place that I would ever like to revisit. 

 I can remember my heart pounding and the tears flowing.  I remember questioning myself and wondering whether it was my fault that the relationship was not working.  Removing myself from this situation was heartbreaking and very hard to do.

This place and space where I was, was not healthy and I knew that I had to make a move to save myself.  Below, you will see some of the steps that I had to take and where I am now, and how my mindset changed.

How I saved my life.

1. Went to the Library and found self-help books to rebuild my self-esteem and to see where I went wrong in the relationship.
2. Learned to love myself and concentrate on all of my needs.
3. I decided that I would not concentrate on looks when looking for a mate and to see what was in the man's heart and that he was genuinely in love with me instead of in lust with me. lol
4. I sincerely prayed for God's guidance and instruction on how to move forward in a positive way.
5. I made the decision not to date for a while and learn to be happy as a single woman.
6. I kept myself so busy, so I didn't feel like I was missing something.
7. Bought me some special gifts for Valentine's Day to celebrate, me.
8. Started a few hobbies that help to keep my mind off, love and relationships.
9. Went to some events alone and still had a wonderful time.
10. Learned how to have friendships with men, without having the pressure of dating.

I have decided that having a relationship doesn't define who I am.  I am wonderful and fabulous, just the way I am, and really glad that I don't have all the drama that was in my life. 

 Trusting your intuition is a way to avoid getting yourself into dangerous and non-productive situations.  You have to realize what all the red flags are and learn to avoid them at all costs.

When you have high self-worth; Men who would ordinarily talk to you will pass you by and that will make room for men of quality to come into your life.

You deserve a life with a man who will celebrate you and who will add to your life in a positive manner.  Life is short; please do not settle for a man who is unstable because you will be miserable.

Does My Husband Love me?

Someone recently asked me this question and we had a long conversation. I asked her if it was okay for me to answer through my blog and she said that it was okay.

Anonymous Question:  Do my husband really love me?  I have been married for about 8 years and I am deeply in love with my husband but he is changing right before my eyes.  We have two children and I just lost a baby and it was a boy. 

 My husband wants a boy very bad because we have two girls and he spoils them but had his mind set on a little boy.

  He is starting to take me for granted and will not look me in the eye when speaking and I find this very strange.  He used to be very responsible for paying our bills but I have found numerous bills that are still due.

He doesn't hug or kiss me like he used to and our sex life is null and void.  I don't know what happened to our happy marriage.

  I am also receiving calls that hang up and I know that this could be a woman that he is seeing.  I have strange women coming up to me in the supermarket to start a conversation and they always ask whether I am married or not.

I talked to him regarding this and he said, I was crazy and that he loves me but he is stressed out and needs some space.  The kids are noticing too because they are no longer happy around their father. I don't know what to do.

Sashamoniquetalks: I am very surprised at what is going on because you two are a model couple in my eyes.  You always seemed happy and you never complained about him to me. 

 I think that when you lost the baby it caused depression in your husband.  There is something serious going on if he isn't paying the bills and you have to find out whether his hours changed on his job or whether he has a gambling problem because he has always been a responsible man.

I do believe that he still loves you and give him a little space to see if he can work these issues out.

Do I think he is cheating?  There is a strong possibility and I suggest that you start putting money to the side, to protect yourself.  

He is the breadwinner of the family and it would be good if you can get a job to help out if he is stressing over money issues. Don't entertain these women at the supermarket because they are nothing but trouble. 

 You owe no one an explanation regarding your marriage.

I am saddened by this situation and I hope you two can work it out.