My family doen't know how sick I am. Should I tell them?

Anonymous Question:  I have been battling Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Lupus for a little over a year.  My children have seen me sick and my husband doesn't pay attention enough to notice how sick I really am.

 I didn't tell them because I do not want them to be scared.  I am working full time but I don't know for how long.  I am having issues being intimate with my husband because of my health issues.  Should I tell them?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I don't answer questions that are health related but I had to answer this one because I am battling a lot of health issues myself and I feel that I can give you the best answer concerning this.

I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure many years ago and at the time my daughter was 9 years old.  I didn't want to tell my family but things got so bad and I had to tell someone about it. They were and still are very helpful to me.

Please tell your family exactly what is going on because it is no disgrace to be sick.  You need the support of your family and if you do not tell them, you will fall into a deep depression.

 Your family will help you and it will make it easier to cope with your illnesses.  Let your husband know and tell your doctor that you are having trouble being intimate with your husband.  There are things that can be done to restore your intimacy.

 You do not have to deal with this alone.  Join some online support groups with people who have the same health problems that you do and it will give you hope to go on with your life. 

If you do not feel like you can continue working full-time, please let your husband know so you two can make some decisions.  There are so many programs available for people with disabilities and you could also work at home online.

Signs My Boyfriend Doesn't love Me!

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We have all dated and experienced breakups and it is never easy.  Below,  you will see some of the signs.  There are always signs but we may not recognize them.

1. He never takes me out.
2. I have never met his family or friends.
3. He calls me his friend.
4. He never buys me anything.
5. He hits me.
6. He lies to me constantly.
7. He only sees me on certain days.
8. Tells me, I am ugly.
9. He dates other people.
10. Steals from me.
11. Get another woman pregnant.
12. Makes fun of me.
13. Uses me for sex.
14. Brings another woman to my house.
15. He's married.
16. Makes me buy him things.
17. Keeps breaking up with me.
18. Not willing to marry me.
19. Hates my children.
20. Tells me he hates me and my family.

If you have answered yes to any of these answers you may be involved with a man who doesn't love or respect you.  You cannot change him and what you see is what you get.  Do not be a slave to love because you will be the one who is hurt.  Men tend to respect women who respect themselves.  

My friends husband is cheating with her best friend

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha:  My friend and I have been friends since we were 3 years old.  We are now 26 years old and I consider her my sister. 

 Last week I went out with another one of my friends and saw my friend's husband hugged up with our friend.  They both saw me but they didn't say anything.  I was so shocked, what should I do?


Sashamoniquetalks:  I think that you should go to your friend's husband and tell him to stop seeing that woman or you are going to tell your friend.  If that doesn't work, you have to tell your friend because you said that you consider her your sister and you don't want her to be taken advantage of. 

 If you feel that your friend won't believe you then you will have to remove yourself from the situation and be there for her when she finds out about her husband's affair

Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

                                         Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

Gentlemen, I wanted to touch on this subject because the holidays are upon us and it can be a very sad time for many men who don't have family or family they have given up. You may have had a relationship with a woman and things didn't go as planned and you have a child or children together. You may not get along with the mother or you are restricted from seeing your children but it is not an excuse to abandon your child.

We have Skype and Facetime and it makes it easier than ever to communicate with your children on a regular basis. If you are incarcerated, you can write your children letters to keep the parental relationship going. Please do not abandon your children over things the other parent is doing or not doing.

Many children of separation or Divorce are broken.  They are broken because they are silent victims of the decisions that their mother or father made. 

 I am a child of Divorce and let me tell you, I was sad most of my life because of it.  I don't blame my parents because sometimes things happen in a marriage that cannot be repaired.  One good thing, my father stayed in my life and refused to spend his life without us and it did make a difference in my life.

If you haven't seen your kids for a very long time, you can believe that one day your child will come looking for you. I think that it is never too late to reconnect with your children and if they find you, please do not reject your children. 

Life is short and you do not know why this child is looking for you.  They may be saying goodbye because of an illness or the other parent could be dying.  Give your kids a chance because they are here because of your choices.  

Be civil to your child's mom, so you can have a great relationship with your kids.  Help the mother financially to take care of your children and if you are out of work or on low-income support the other parent by babysitting the kids and picking them up from school. 

 This would help so much. There are so many things you can do to help the mother of your children and it doesn't involve a lot of money.

I hope that this post is helpful to you and if you would like to add anything, please leave a comment.

how to prevent child abuse.

I Am Secretly Eating Myself To Death

Anonymous:  I have been overweight all of my life.  Nobody sees me overeat because when they see a woman of my size they just assumes that I eat all the time, so, when out with my friends I don't eat or I eat very little. 

 I cannot lose weight because when I am home I hide snacks in my room and when I am alone I overeat.  I am so disappointed in myself.  I don't know what to do.



Sashamoniquetalks:  I understand where you are coming from because as a teen I was putting on weight and would go clothes shopping and at the time, the clothes for plus size girls were not youthful looking.   I used to hide food so I hear where you are coming from.  

What you can do is see a nutritionist who will show you how to choose healthy choices.
Join a support group where you can meet other young ladies in the same situation.
Love yourself young lady and experiment with hair and clothes and accept the pretty lady that  you are.

Once you start to feel better about yourself, it will be a lot easier to lose weight.

I Really Don't Want To Be Around Some Family Members This Year.

Anonymous Question:  Hi, Sasha, I am supposed to go to a get-together with family members in a couple of weeks but there are some people who are coming and I really don't enjoy their company. 

 One person is very loud and I cannot stand being around this person.  Another one is a drama queen and she always wants attention so she starts trouble at every dinner.  I told some of my family members that I would never go to anything that they are giving.

  My mother told me that she wants me to go and I feel obligated. I don't want to upset my mother.  What should I do?

Sashamoniquetalks, This is a tough question.  You could just stay home but it might be nice if you just go and stay about an hour or so and then leave. 

 You may even find that this year may be different and you might want to stay longer.  The truth is, families are getting smaller and smaller due to family members dying or they live in another part of the country. If you go, just be friendly to everyone and then prepare your exit.