Moving Past Pain And Shame In Your Life.

Today, I decided to do a post instead of a question and answer segment.  Moving past pain and shame is something that needs to be talked about.  A lot of us have had terrible things happen to us and the secret pain that we hold in our hearts is sometimes unbearable. 

 We have to grin and bear it to make the outside world comfortable. Comfortable why? because people don't want to see or know the truth about your journey.

We are shameful because of things that were inflicted on us.  I ask God every day (Why I have to carry this burden.) The burden that wasn't mine but was forced on me.   Trying to move on is very hard but you have to choose happiness. 

 You will never forget the things that you have gone through but God gave us life and what we do with this life will determine the outcome.

In my African American community, we are taught not to talk about abuse or the people who took it upon themselves to torture our souls but I feel that the person who found it easy to abuse and takes advantage of us should be the one who carries life long of shame. 

 The best thing we can do is talk about this situation with someone we trust to release these issues of they will tear us apart emotionally.

We have to stop covering up for someone who is downright evil.  They should be the one who carries the scarlet letter instead of us.

Getting Hit On By Foreigners Because Of Immigration Policy (Commentary)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,  I was shopping today in the major shopping area in my town and I was hit on by a man and he was making all kinds of promises about what he would offer me if I were to date him. 

 I found this strange because most men from this particular country do not approach black
women in my town.  I will not reveal the country this man is from.

I went into another store and as I was walking out the door, another man hit on me and was trying to ask me some very personal questions.  I ignored him and kept walking. 

 Walking down the street the same thing happened and I am aware of what is going on.  These men are looking for a golden ticket into America because of the Immigration ban. 

 I want you ladies and men to be very careful because there are many people looking to use American citizens and I am a person who isn't prejudiced at all but I do believe that people should come into this country legally.

I strongly believe, that if you are hard-working and honest, you will be a good fit to live in America but to use American citizens to get into this country and be a detriment to our economy and the well-being of this great country is not something that we need. 

 I am pretty sure that there are some people who are willing to work hard and do all they can to be in this country legally and I am sure that Americans are okay with this.

I will not give these folks the time of day because they are users and looking for the easy way out.  All I have to say is (Keep on Walking).

Everybody Has Family Rifts But You Can Recover And Move Forward.

Most of us have family rifts and disagreements and sometimes we have problems moving forward.  If the rifts last too long, it can be extremely hard to recover and time can past that none of us can get back. 

 There are times that we let our pride get in the way.  I think the older you get, the more stubborn you get and set in your own ways.  Happiness is within reach if two people can just learn to sit down and talk about the things that went wrong in the relationship.

I have had these situations happen to me as well and it gets very tiring and it kills your spirit.  I believe that therapy is the best way to learn how to communicate in an effective manner.  Some of us don't have the time or our insurance may not cover these therapy sessions.  I know that there are some that have a sliding scale payment and this can make it very affordable. 

 In the meantime, there are ways that you can work on yourself and that is through self-help books.  I am a fan of these kinds of books because you can read them on your own time and you can privately address your personal issues.

I would like to suggest this book if you are interested and you can get it here.  This book is very informative and you will definitely learn better ways of coping and moving forward.

He Was Prince Charming, But, I Didn't Know It! (Story Time)

                                  He Was Prince Charming, But I Didn't Know It!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is a storytime for you; from time to time you will find out more about me.

I was a young lady and after going through a terrible breakup, I ran into this man and when I first saw him, I was not attracted to him.  He kept gazing into my eyes and I said to myself " He is weird as heck."  I loved tall, dark, and handsome men and he was only tall. lol. 

 We became friends and I was purchasing a table set from one of his friends; I was in the basement looking at the set and some other items and I heard him tell his friend "  I love her man.  If she let me, I will treat her like a queen."  I had only known this man for two and a half weeks.

I came upstairs and his friend was looking at me weirdly because he could tell I knew what my friend said.  Acting like I didn't hear anything, he put the table in his car, and on the way taking me home he said, " I know you heard what I said but I really mean it." I told him it didn't make sense and I wasn't looking for a relationship. 

 He said, "Please give me a chance" I know that you have been through a lot and I promise that I will not let you down if you  just love me for who I am."  We stayed friends and two months later we started seeing each other. 

 Honestly, I still wasn't interested in him.  He would take me out to eat and also come to my house and cook breakfast or dinner for me he would buy me nice things; mind you, he wasn't a wealthy man.

This man was so sweet to me and I wasn't used to that. He showed me plenty of attention and affection.  He acted like Prince Charming but he didn't look like it.  We spent many years in our relationship. 

 We broke up but we still remained friends.  What I want you all to know is, looks aren't everything.  Share your life with someone who truly loves you and who will put you first. 

If you are broken from a failed relationship or marriage, please get some help for the issues you have so you can find happiness and love. Don't block your blessings!

That man you feel nobody wants may be the man who will hold your heart carefully in his hand and will never disappoint you. 

 He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish him nothing but much love and happiness in his life.  Sometimes you will only get this opportunity once in a lifetime but if it ever comes my way again, I will never let it go.

Update:  As of October 2021, this man passed away.  This is a lesson not only to me but to others.  Don't let true love pass you by because life is short. Don't ever take love for granted because you will always carry a permanent pain in your heart for the person who loved you but you weren't ready for it.

He was Prince Charming, but I didn't know it.

You Have Loved And Lost, But, Next Time It Will Be Right.

                                                Miles Jaye, I've Been A Fool For You.

I posted this video because this song just brings back so many memories.  A lot of you will remember this song from the TV show, "A Different World."  It is beautiful and heartfelt. 

 You may be going through a loss of your own and it will take a lot of strength to carry on,   Life is very uncertain but in its uncertainty, there is a lesson to be learned. 

 In a relationship, what you see is what you get.  If you are being taken for granted or cheated on, just know that there is someone who is ready and willing to be the man or woman that you need.

Don't waste your time on people who are not sure whether or not they want to be with you.  Life is short but be sure that you acknowledge the part that you played in any negativity in the relationship. 

Give yourself time to heal and then be open to love.  Love yourself and spoil yourself.  When the time is right, love will come back around, it always does.

He stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha, I have been with my husband for ten years and he only spent two Valentine's Day with me since we have been married.  He spends all his time with his other woman and he leaves and stays a few days.  He likes to start an argument every time he leaves, what can I do?


Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello, this a very sad situation.  Your husband is showing some signs that he doesn't respect you or your feelings.  I am sure that he loves you but he wants his cake and eat it too. You need to have a serious talk with him about your future and if he won't talk, you may need to text him or write him a letter.
You have been married a long time and you don't deserve this treatment.  I am not going to tell you to leave your husband but take this time to work on you and make yourself happy. When working on yourself you will find the right answer that you have been seeking and he will see a new change in you.

Please let me know how this situation turns out.

How To Deal With A Liar

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

                                   How To Deal With A Liar

All of us have come across people who stretch the truth and we brush it off but this person can be really dangerous.  You will not be able to believe anything that they say.  Some will tell you a story with a straight face and they always had a sob story to gain your confidence.

  They have no trouble asking you for money and they are always looking for someone to finance their latest pursuits.

How To Deal With A Liar:
When you find out that this person is a habitual liar, cut all contact with them if you can.  If they ask you for money, firmly tell them NO!
Closely, evaluate what they are telling is fact or fiction. 

 Treat this person like a Leper even if it hurts their feelings.  Do not invite this liar to family events because they are known to cause arguments with other family members.

A Liar is a thief:
I was always told that if a person lies he will also steal.  This means, if this person is in your home you will have to guard your valuables.  Never leave them alone in your home.

Bottom Line:
Liars are meant to be discarded like trash and you may care for them if they are family but you cannot continue to waste your time because these people are detrimental to your health and they are psychopaths.