Learning How To Adjust After Being In A Bad Relationship Isn't Easy.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I don't have any questions to answer today so I decided that I would talk on this subject about "Learning how to adjust after being in a bad relationship.

 At some point in your life, you will be met with a relationship that has never bought you any happiness and also a lot of confusion. Boy, have I been there?  It always starts the same. 

 You meet this person and he is attractive and easy to talk to so you decide to go on a date and the night, is just magical.  He wines and dines you and you two have great conversation and for a few months or more, he is the only man for you until you find out that this man has a lot of secrets.

 He hasn't been open or upfront about "Anything" that he has told you.  You asked him about his family or children and as usual, they never have children or they just have one and then later you will find out that this joker is the father of six children that he is not taking care of.

Sometimes you have invested time with this man and will let it all slide because you feel that you are in love with this man. And that is the wrong thing to do because the lies will continue.  

There are always signs such as; being always on his phone, strange calls in the middle of the night, stories that don't add up and never having any money.

It almost seems like you need a freaking college degree to find out the do's and what you should not be doing while navigating your way in a relationship. I have spoken on numerous occasions about using self-help books to see what you need to change in order to have a successful relationship.

You don't have to take a course regarding this subject unless you want to.  Knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more we know.  Educate yourself on this subject.  Here are some books that may be helpful to you.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How To Have A Successful Social Life: Through Better Communication and Relation
Relationship Workshop: How to have a successful relationship that lasts
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person

He Stayed With The Other Woman On Valentines Day (Update)

Anonymous:  Hello, Sasha.  I have an update on the question that I had on Valentine's Day.  I told you that my husband stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day and I am so happy right now because I told him that I was unhappy in my marriage and he didn't give me the respect or the attention that I needed. 

 I could not take it anymore and I asked him to move out.  I felt sad for about two weeks but Sasha, I am so relieved and I have been going out with my friends and really having a good time.  Wasn't aware of how tied down I was.  

He asked me to let him come back home and he said that he really loves me.  I flat out told his crazy behind that I will never let him come back and I am glad that he is gone. Some other opportunities have opened up for me in my career and I am happy about that.  Ten years is too long to be miserable and I got my life back.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am so surprised to hear back from you. So glad that you took the steps to fix this situation and happiness and contentment is very important.  That is great news about the opportunities that has opened up for you.  You are no longer tied down and you are free to live and be happy. Wishing you the best blessings and please stay in touch with me.

Vinegar is great for you!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen:

I have Eczema and I have been affected by it since I have been on this earth.  The itching and breakouts are enough to really drive me crazy.  I have been on so many medications throughout my life and have had the steroid shots and those really make me gain major weight. 

 My Dermatologist even told me to stop taking showers and baths and I have to say, it is out of the question because I love to be clean and smell clean.  

Then she turned around and told me to just bathe in clear water and I started to do that at night only.  I was having a small improvement in my Eczema but nothing significant.

I started researching on the internet and I saw numerous articles regarding bathing in Vinegar.  Over the years, I already knew about rinsing your hair in diluted water and vinegar and it helps with keeping the tangles down and it creates a healthy environment for your scalp. 

 For the last three years, I have incorporated cleaning with white vinegar in my home. I have noticed that my bathtubs and tiles are so much cleaner and brighter.

 Vinegar is the best for your chrome and mirrors.  So let me get back to this bathing in Vinegar thing.  It is really helping me with soothing my irritated skin and I will keep using it to let you know how it is working but right now, I am extremely happy with it.

 I add a cup of Vinegar to my bathwater and after I bathe in it, I immediately apply my medicated creams from my doctor.  If you have been using Vinegar for cleaning or for health, please leave your comments down in the comment section and let me know your results.


You can get Heinz White Vinegar Distilled - 128 oz

You are trying to get pregnant to trap him

Throughout my life, I have known women who meet a man; who is tall dark, and handsome and they make up in their mind that they will get this man and they try to find a way to hold this man down.  

They start manipulating their birth control so they can get pregnant.  Most of these women know that this man does not want any children but they are willing to get pregnant anyway because if they cannot keep him, they will have his baby.

Some of these men have told these women that they better not get pregnant and these women still get pregnant anyway.  I have never seen any of these situations work out because a man should have a right to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. 

 If he is using birth control methods to try to prevent pregnancy and you manipulate his choices, then you will be alone and you will have to live with the decisions that you made.

I Want To Relocate (Now!)

                                                      I Want To Relocate Now!

Anonymous Question:  I am thirty-five years old and I want to relocate because where I currently reside, there are not many opportunities. The problem is, that my parents are elderly in their mid-seventies.

  They are set in their ways and will not travel.  I want to move for a better life.  I would be moving about twelve hours away.

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would move if there are any siblings that would check in on your parents every day but if you are the only one that your parents can depend on I would say no because your parents need you. 

 Have an open and honest conversation with your parents to see if they will change their minds and relocate with you and another option would be for you to move but not so far away.   If you are two to three hours away, it would be easier to reach your parents if a crisis occurs.

Moving Past Pain And Shame In Your Life.

Today, I decided to do a post instead of a question and answer segment.  Moving past pain and shame is something that needs to be talked about.  A lot of us have had terrible things happen to us and the secret pain that we hold in our hearts is sometimes unbearable. 

 We have to grin and bear it to make the outside world comfortable. Comfortable why? because people don't want to see or know the truth about your journey.

We are shameful because of things that were inflicted on us.  I ask God every day (Why I have to carry this burden.) The burden that wasn't mine but was forced on me.   Trying to move on is very hard but you have to choose happiness. 

 You will never forget the things that you have gone through but God gave us life and what we do with this life will determine the outcome.

In my African American community, we are taught not to talk about abuse or the people who took it upon themselves to torture our souls but I feel that the person who found it easy to abuse and takes advantage of us should be the one who carries life long of shame. 

 The best thing we can do is talk about this situation with someone we trust to release these issues of they will tear us apart emotionally.

We have to stop covering up for someone who is downright evil.  They should be the one who carries the scarlet letter instead of us.

Getting Hit On By Foreigners Because Of Immigration Policy (Commentary)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,  I was shopping today in the major shopping area in my town and I was hit on by a man and he was making all kinds of promises about what he would offer me if I were to date him. 

 I found this strange because most men from this particular country do not approach black
women in my town.  I will not reveal the country this man is from.

I went into another store and as I was walking out the door, another man hit on me and was trying to ask me some very personal questions.  I ignored him and kept walking. 

 Walking down the street the same thing happened and I am aware of what is going on.  These men are looking for a golden ticket into America because of the Immigration ban. 

 I want you ladies and men to be very careful because there are many people looking to use American citizens and I am a person who isn't prejudiced at all but I do believe that people should come into this country legally.

I strongly believe, that if you are hard-working and honest, you will be a good fit to live in America but to use American citizens to get into this country and be a detriment to our economy and the well-being of this great country is not something that we need. 

 I am pretty sure that there are some people who are willing to work hard and do all they can to be in this country legally and I am sure that Americans are okay with this.

I will not give these folks the time of day because they are users and looking for the easy way out.  All I have to say is (Keep on Walking).