How to find a good man.

Hello, Ladies.  A lot of you want to know how to find a good man and what characteristics are associated with a good man.  Below you will see different videos speaking on this subject.  Watch these videos and also take notes.

                          Steve, Where Can I Find A Good Man?

                          Steve Harvey's Advice For Successful Women Who                              Can't Find A Good Man

                            How To Find A Good Black Man

                    The Qualities Of A Good Man- Dr. Myles Munroe                                                                                                                          

 

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

~Secrets, Secrets, And Lies They Tell!!!

                                           Secrets, Secrets, And Lies They Tell.

You walk around with a big Kool-Aid smile making sure that everything looks alright to the outside world.  You think you are hiding because you were taught to be strong when sometimes being strong is being weak. 

 You are weak because you are not being real with yourself.  Everything from the outside looks perfect when perfection seldom, exist.

Smiling and grinning when all Hell is falling around you.  Scared to look anything but perfect is your cross to bear.  Everyone knows your secret and the jig is up. 

Scared to fail, scared to shed a tear in public when your heart has been broken numerous times.  You imprisoned yourself without a sentence because you have been in jail since forever.

I don't know why you put all this pressure on yourself because you are loved.  You are loved by the people you are trying to impress.  These are the people who were willing to hold your head and your hand when you cried.  They were here all the time. 

 You didn't trust them because of the way you felt about yourself.  It is okay to be vulnerable because we all have.  Secrets and lies result in brokenness and pain.

Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship

                          Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship


Changing your mindset isn't easy because sometimes you are not aware of different things and attitudes you need to change to have success in your relationship.

Relationship Killers:  Jealousy, causing arguments, being a know-it, and giving up too easily.
I have exhibited some of these traits myself because of past hurts and disappointments and it can become as toxic as a Cancer. 

 Learning how to change and work on yourself is the best prescription for this kind of behavior.

There is give and take in a relationship and if no one is not listening or willing to work on your relationship, then, it is dead.

Relationship pointers:  We all have intuition and a lot of times we are correct about the things that we are feeling but what if you didn't judge a person correctly and you are wrong, then you will throw a relationship away without really finding out the truth.  

If you need answers from your spouse or the person you are dating, just ask the question instead of beating around the bush.

Put into your relationship what you want to get out of it.  Show love to get equal love in return. Forgive mistakes if they are minor because you will make mistakes also and you may need someone to forgive you as well.

Try not to look into your spouse's phone because most of the time you will find trouble if you are looking for it.
Do not be a fool in your relationship but try to be a calm and peaceful person so you can enjoy yourself with your mate.

Find happiness in yourself so that you can make your spouse happy too.

She is asking for a Divorce but I don't want one.

Anonymous Question:  I got married very young to this beautiful lady and we have been married six years.  I am very attracted to her and she is in great shape.  The problem is, that we have one child together but I have put her down many times and made fun of her about her looks.

 She looks fine but I am really jealous of her and very insecure with myself. I have slapped her on many occasions and I refuse to let her go out with her friends because I am scared she will find someone else. 

 She has filed for a Divorce but I do not want one and I am willing to change my way's.  I forgot to add that I have two kids from another relationship while married to her.  How can I get my beautiful wife back?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  You said that you got married very young and you do not want a Divorce but honestly, you did not give your wife the love and respect that she deserves.  I believe that you love her but the way you showed it, confused her.

 What you can do is call her and tell her all the things that you told me and give her space and time to see if she still want to work on her marriage.  You made a mistake by hitting her and I wouldn't suggest that any woman stays with a man who hits her. 

 You prevented her from going out with her friends while you went out and had two kids on her.  If you two get back together,  you must give her space and a chance to enjoy her life and plan some wonderful things that you know she would like.  Make her happy and never treat her like this again.  If you are truly sorry, you may get her back.

How Did I Lose Myself?

                                                   How Did I Lose Myself!


Anonymous Question:  I have been married for two years and I love my husband very much.  I stay at home because my husband does not want me to work at this time.  We do not have any children.  I explained to my husband that I want to start a small business and he got all upset about it. 

We only go places he wants to go and do things he wants to do; it is never about me.  I am bored and depressed. How did I lose myself SashaMonique?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  You said that you love your husband and you didn't say that he is mistreating you.  Sit your husband down and talk to him about this in a calm matter.  

Tell him that you want to make your own money and save it for a goal that you want to accomplish.  Let him know that you want to enjoy some outings with your friends or family and if you are uneducated, start taking courses even if it is online.  

You have a right to work or start a business if you want to. You don't have any children so it isn't any reason you cannot have a job if that is what you want.  A marriage is a partnership and it isn't all about one person. 

Learning How To Adjust After Being In A Bad Relationship Isn't Easy.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I don't have any questions to answer today so I decided that I would talk on this subject about "Learning how to adjust after being in a bad relationship.

 At some point in your life, you will be met with a relationship that has never bought you any happiness and also a lot of confusion. Boy, have I been there?  It always starts the same. 

 You meet this person and he is attractive and easy to talk to so you decide to go on a date and the night, is just magical.  He wines and dines you and you two have great conversation and for a few months or more, he is the only man for you until you find out that this man has a lot of secrets.

 He hasn't been open or upfront about "Anything" that he has told you.  You asked him about his family or children and as usual, they never have children or they just have one and then later you will find out that this joker is the father of six children that he is not taking care of.

Sometimes you have invested time with this man and will let it all slide because you feel that you are in love with this man. And that is the wrong thing to do because the lies will continue.  

There are always signs such as; being always on his phone, strange calls in the middle of the night, stories that don't add up and never having any money.

It almost seems like you need a freaking college degree to find out the do's and what you should not be doing while navigating your way in a relationship. I have spoken on numerous occasions about using self-help books to see what you need to change in order to have a successful relationship.

You don't have to take a course regarding this subject unless you want to.  Knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more we know.  Educate yourself on this subject.  Here are some books that may be helpful to you.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How To Have A Successful Social Life: Through Better Communication and Relation
Relationship Workshop: How to have a successful relationship that lasts
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person