The Truth Behind Dating An Unmotivated Man

 The Truth Behind Dating An Unmotivated Man

Hello Ladies, today we are going to talk about what happens when you date an unmotivated man.

So, you went to your local corner store to buy some gum and some water, and as you approach the door someone says "hello, how are you doing today" you start to not speak but you think to yourself "he seems harmless."  You go into the store and you see him peeking through the window and he waves at you.

You pay for your items, and as you are leaving the store he says "you are so beautiful, can I have your number?" You know that you don't really want to entertain this man, but you give him your phone number. You drive about three blocks, and he is calling your phone.  You answer and you tell him that you are on your way to work, and you tell him that you will call or text him later.

When you come in from work you call him, and he is very kind and has the gift of gab.  You love his voice.  He tells you that he is an artist and is the "Jack of all trades."

You ask him about his job, and he says that he just got laid off because his job eliminated his position because of the pandemic.

He says that he is actively searching for work, but in the meanwhile, he sells his paintings.

You start to like this guy and the next month, he tells you that he is losing his apartment, and he has nowhere to go.  Before you know it, he is moving into your place.

You tell him that you are going to support him while he is looking for a job.  Fast forward to four months, he is eating your food playing video games all day, and doing a painting about twice a month.

You ask him "why aren't you looking for a job," he says "I don't have the right clothes and all of the jobs are too far for me to travel."
 You tell him that he can get a job online, and he then claims that he doesn't really know how to work a computer even though you know he can.

You start to notice that he has an excuse for everything.  You find evidence that he is on dating sites texting and meeting women while you are at work.  You confront him, and he swears that he is going to change.  Fast forward to a year, he is still playing video games, eating up all of your food, you just find out that you are pregnant, and you are still the breadwinner in this relationship.

The point I am getting at in this post is you knew when you went into that store that this man didn't have anything going on in his life, or he wouldn't have been just standing in front of the store.

You let him sweet talk you into letting him into your life.  You have this fantasy that you can fix this man and change him into the man that you want him to be.

Ladies, a whole man doesn't need any fixing, he will have a career, car, his own home or apartment and he will not need your assistance for anything.  

Some of these men are unmotivated because you ignored the red flags right away in the relationship. They were always there, but your need and thirst for companionship blinded your common sense.

This man isn't going to ever help you and you need to remove him from your home as soon as possible.  Now you are pregnant without any support and it is your own fault.

Distance yourself from any man who doesn't have his life together, and you will prevent yourself from having a lifetime of pain.

  

Life Wasn't Too Kind To Me

 

This post may contain affiliate links which means that I will receive a small commission if a purchase is made.

Hello everyone, I guess you all are saying "Long time no see."  It has been quite a long time since you all have seen me on this blog.

I have been busy with a lot of projects, health issues, and also some good things that have happened in my life.  This morning, I was thinking about years ago when things weren't so great in my life.

There was a time when I was homeless due to domestic abuse when I was in my twenties.  I quickly removed myself from my abuser, but I found that my life was never going to be the same again. 

Coming from a middle-class background, I thought that I would never be homeless because although we weren't rich, we weren't poor either.  My mom always prepared us for hard times. 

After leaving my abuser, I had to search and search to find an apartment that I could afford.  The search was very difficult because my income was very low at that time.  

I was looked down upon because of my clothes and my financial status.  Some people would not give me a chance at a better life because of my overall look.

Even some family members treated me unfairly because of my situation.  God rescued me, and a lot of people whom I didn't expect to help, me started helping me. These people were people who weren't my own race.  I was amazed at how God worked in my life at that time.

I had to find my own way.  It took many years and a lot of ups and downs because many times my financial situation took a turn for the worse. I became very ill.  I looked for work but I didn't have the clothes, and sometimes I didn't have a babysitter to allow me to work the kind of jobs I needed to improve my situation.

I was stuck!  I always tried to improve myself by taking courses, reading self-help books, or investing a little money into trying to start a small business. 

Many days I woke up depressed.  I had a small child who was depending on me, and I had to try to snap out of it so I could raise her.

It took many years for me to change my life. It was hard as heck.  A few years before my dad passed, he told me "Do not tell anyone your plans, just do anything that you want to do and work on yourself because people are very negative and they will tell you that it won't work out," that was the best advice ever.

  I started a lot of projects and a few failed but many worked out.  I am still not a wealthy person, but I have peace of mind, income, and the ability to create more income and peace of mind.  

My father was so right!  That advice changed my life.  This year, I am going to really branch out and start some new projects that will bring in more money.  I stay away from the naysayers.  Working on myself is the best project that I have ever invested in. 

I have a YouTube channel called SashaMoniqueTalks if you are interested in learning more about me and my life. 

I do a lot of lifestyle content, product reviews, thrift hauls, etc.

A lot of people say that I don't look like what I have been through. God was my answer. He protected me and showed me how to survive.  I learned how to save money and shop at thrift stores so I could obtain a more pulled-together look.  I also shop on clearance racks at major department stores.

This post is not a sob story but it is my story of triumph.  It is intended to encourage anyone who may be going through the same situation.

Love Yourself!

 

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links which means that I will receive a small commission if a purchase is made.

Love yourself!

Today is Valentine's Day, and you are feeling some kind of way because you do not have a date or you just experienced a breakup.  This day is not easy for people who are not in a relationship or just not happy, and they cannot wait until this day is over. 

Last week there were so many commercials showcasing the most fabulous rings, necklaces, and bracelets.  It is a common theme we always see this time of year.  We always seem to watch these commercials with envy, waiting and hoping for that special time when a man will give you that perfect piece of jewelry or gift.

When he will treat you to that fabulous dinner and spoil you, but have you thought about the fact that loving yourself brings great rewards?  I am not going to say that you don't need a man or a relationship but what about loving yourself despite that.  

You made it to another year intact after all the difficulties and struggles that you have experienced in 2020.  It was a nightmare that none of us could have predicted.  Are you going to continue putting your dreams and wants on hold because (he) decided that he didn't want to be in a relationship with you?  The fact that (he) was nowhere to be found when you needed him? The fact that he is a self-centered jerk!

I don't think so!  Put on that pretty dress, paint your nails, order yourself a wonderful dinner, and play the sexiest music to dance to.  Celebrate yourself! Life is short! 

Buy yourself some flowers and spoil yourself.  Enjoy this day to the fullest.  Create that fabulous life that you want. Live without any regrets. 

How to deal with dry skin and low vitamin D levels during the winter months.

 

How to deal with dry skin and low vitamin D levels during the winter months.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links which mean that I may receive a small commission if a purchase is made. 

When you live in the Northeast in the winter, there is a good chance that you will experience super dry skin.  I have dry skin and am also an Eczema sufferer which means that my skin really takes a beating during the winter months. 

 Constantly moisturizing my skin is a twice-daily routine, and I always have to keep moisturizers in my handbag, just in case. I have dealt with low vitamin D levels for many years because of the lack of sun.

There are some products that I have found to be very helpful in managing my dry skin and making my skin more healthy during the winter months. My doctor put me on a vitamin D regimen that I have to follow to keep my vitamin D levels up.

If you are experiencing this, make sure that you get as much of the sun as you can and buy some good-quality lotions and moisturizers.  Go and have your vitamin D levels tested to make sure that you are not deficient in vitamin D.   

Keep as much light on in your home and moisturize as soon as you get out of the shower.  That will be very helpful to your skin.

Below are some products that I use and they could really help you to combat the dryness.

Aveeno Cracked Skin Relief Moisturising 

Cica Balm With Triple

 Oat Complex, 11 Oz (312 G)

Provence Beauty 4-ounce  Vitamin E Oil

 Instant Body Moisturizer

Sebamed Liquid Face&Body Wash For 

Sensitive And Problematic Skin 

1000Ml/33.8 Oz

Organix South - TheraNeem Organix 

Shampoo Gentle Therape - 12 fl

               

What were your plans before the pandemic?

 

    What were your plans before the pandemic?

For all of us, the pandemic hit us like a Mack truck.  We had hopes of going on trips, opening a new business, or even getting married.  It has caused us to rethink everything that we had planned to do.  In my area, I had seen signs of new businesses that were slated to open, but they were never able to open.

I know a few people who were supposed to get married this year, and every one of them put things on hold. I suggested that maybe they should have a very small ceremony and then have the wedding of their dreams later on.  I wish I never said that because they looked at me like I had five heads.

What I am getting at in this post is the fact that we will have to learn how to live to the best of our ability with the hand that we have been dealt.   You can save up your money so when this pandemic is over, you will be able to take your dream trip. 

 If you really want to get married, you can get married right now.  It is not safe to have big weddings right now, and it will be a while before we will be able to. Be creative and step out of your comfort zone.   If you were not able to open that physical business, you can still open a different type of business online. The pandemic caused so many new online businesses to emerge.  

Some hair stores in my area were closed for a very long time, and I hope that they will consider adding an online store in addition to their physical stores.  This would allow the employees to still make money even though they cannot open their stores.

If you were living in a location where the rent is very high, maybe you can consider moving to an area that is known to be safe but has cheaper rent. I am even thinking about doing this.

Thank God that we live in a virtual world where we are not totally crippled by the pandemic.  Whatever plans that you have can be recreated at another date and time.  Stay safe and protect your loved ones, and when this thing is over, have the biggest celebration ever!  

At-Home Teeth Whitening. Does it work?

                        This post may contain affiliate links

Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener
The first thing people will notice about you when you smile is your teeth. However, it may be very embarrassing if your teeth are not in good condition. What you need to know is that your teeth may become yellow after some time due to various reasons.

 Even if visiting your dentist to get your teeth whitened may seem to be the best idea, it may be a bit expensive and very inconvenient for those with a busy schedule.

If you are searching for a good product and the best solution to whiten your teeth, Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener is one of the best products that will give you excellent results.  With this product, you will be able to whiten your teeth in the comfort of your home.

What is Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener?
Smile Brilliant is among the most popular products that are used for teeth whitening. Unlike other products, this one is backed by scientific knowledge.

You will find this product in two packages which are the non-sensitive and sensitive packages. These packages allow you to choose a teeth-whitening gel according to sensitivity.
Ingredients
This product comprises the following;
Menthol
Carbamide peroxide
carbomer
Glycerin
EDTA

What is included in the package?
The package comprises custom-fitted teeth whitening trays that are handcrafted by dental lab technicians. It also includes the following;

Professional lab service- which receives your impressions. After this, they create a similar model of your teeth which comes in a custom-fitted tray. The finished custom-fitted whitening trays include 1 lower and 1 upper tray.

2 impression trays- These are combined with impression materials to create a mold
3 sets of impression materials- These ones enable you to make your own impressions.

Three-way postage between you and the lab.
Professional teeth whitening gel and a desensitizing gel.

How does it work?
All you need to do is add the professional teeth whitening gel to the trays. After this, you can now wear them and allow the gel to work.

 You should try it for about 45 days if you want to get excellent results. In case you do not get the expected results after 45 days, the company provides a full refund.

Pros
Pocket-friendly
FDA approved
Instructions are very clear to understand
The process is easy to follow
Made in the USA
Prompt customer service

Cons
Time-consuming

Conclusion
If you are searching for a reliable teeth-whitening kit, Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener will be a great option. Apart from making your teeth white, it also removes stains between your teeth.

Why are you so sad around Christmas time? (Living with domestic violence)

                            

 Why are you so sad around Christmas time?

I can tell you that living in an abusive marriage or relationship gets worse during the holiday season.
There is so much tension in the air because you may have financial issues or it could be a time when your spouse could be drinking more than usual.  You will find that you can be blamed for just about anything.

Your abusive spouse will find fault with just about anything (the kids, your hair, or just you being around.)  If your spouse is cheating, he will find a way to start a fight or an argument so he will have an excuse to leave the home to be with his mistress.

You may think that you are hiding your pain but everyone will see that Christmas is a hard time for you. Keeping "the secret" somehow makes you feel that it is not as bad as it is.  What people will not tell you is, that being in an abusive marriage is shameful to the person who is dealing with it.

Many times you wonder why this person would pick you for this type of treatment, and you will also ask God why???????


Image of snowflake ornaments, courtesy of Pixabay

Many times, domestic abuse starts with something in your past.  A time when you have been slapped or told to shut up and berated by a parent or another adult.  You may have seen your parents get abused, and even though you knew this behavior was reprehensible, you allowed this pattern to show up in your life because it was something that you were used to.

If you are reading this post and you have severe sadness during Christmas and you have been abused; it is time to take action.  Find a way to save your life and your sanity.  It will not be easy, but let me tell you, it will be worth it.

I escaped over thirty years ago.  I still suffer from trauma from what I went through.  Christmas has never been easy for me, but I am here and I am blessed.  Spending precious moments with my family without arguing and being abused is a gift that I can never thank God enough for.

Free yourself!  Let this be the last year that you are scared of what this person will do to you.  Live, live, live!  Take back control of your life!  The best is yet to come!